Greetings Auburn Tigers fans! TwistNHook here, from SBN's UC Cal site, CaliforniaGoldenBlogs. You might have noticed today that one of the moderators from over at RollBamaRoll went to AddictedToQuack and wrote this guide on hating Auburn. I thought, well, why should Oregonians have all the educational fun? Why shouldn't Oregon's Pac10 rivals help you guys better understand the Duck mind? Ostensibly, Oregon State fans from Building The Dam should be writing this, but a)they barely exist and b)we came closest to beating Oregon this year, so we have a special appreciation of the Nike mindset.
Now, the first thing you have to know about hating Oregon fans is that they are big doodoo heads and OH GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH, MY TYPING FINGERS, I'VE SPRAINED THEM ALL, HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED TO ME OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN MERE MOMENTS AGO MY TYPING FINGERS APPEARED TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY, COMPLETELY, TOTALLY NO PROBLEMS AT ALL??? I'M A HIGHLY TRAINED BLOGTHLETE READY TO COMPETE IN THIS HIGH OCTANE HATING COMPETITION AND YET THIS SURPRISING TURN OF EVENTS THAT IS IN NO WAY FALSE HAS OCCURRED?!?!? PERHAPS I SHOULD LOOK TOWARDS THE SIDELINES TO SEE IF - OH NO IT HURTS MORE THAN EVER! WHY WOULD LOOKING TOWARDS THE SIDELINES HURT ME EVEN MORE??? BUT IT HAS! IT HAS! IT TOTALLY HAS! NO FOOLING! SCOUT'S HONOR!
I'm Anatidaephobic, so I can't stay too much longer. I fear we'll get some new friends who might look at me. In conclusion, I just wanted to type, using my now miraculously healed typing fingers, how much we are all depending on you guys using the local dialect:
Wait, I did that right, right?