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What a Bunch of Maroons!!

 

After the elation of last nights win began to fade, I harkened back to the attendance for last nights game.....55,000. I thought about this for a second and I began to get REALLY irritated. Missisippi State is in the richest conference with the most well attended games in the United States...and their stadium capacity is 55,000. HUH?? How is that possible? I know Mississippi gets a bad rap for being underdeveloped and a cash strapped state, but of all the things you might want to invest in, don't you think having a 75,000+ seat stadium for one of your cash cows might be at the top of your list? I know the MSU game is not at the top of everybody's wish list when you are an Auburn fan but if you are an MSU fan, every SEC game, aside from Vanderbilt or Kentucky, is a sexy matchup come gameday in Starkville! Ole Miss and LSU are traditional rivals. Arky, Auburn, Bama and the three east teams --- they couldn't sell those out?? Where's the "Oh I don't want to see them play, they're no good" team?? Every games a good one!! How do you exist in the SEC with a 55,000 seat stadium??? Thats Vanderbilt-esque and we all know, MSU is no Vanderbilt. South Carolina is a good comparison in terms of SEC futility and fan fervor, and they always sell out their 86,000 seats.  Hell, even Kentucky has 67,000+ seats and they don't even CARE about football!! What gives???? It must be their student enrollment, right? They must be a Vanderbiltesque 11,000 student enrollment, right?? Wrong, upwards of 18,000, only 20% less than Auburn. It must be Starkville, right? Its in the middle of nowhere!! Wrong.....ever been to Auburn? Even nowhere has to have a map to find Auburn. Besides, Starkville is right in the middle between LSU, Ole Miss, Auburn and Bama. I know.  Its because of the entertainment opt....jeez I couldn't even write that, it was so ridiculous.  MSU gets the same TV and bowl disbursement as all the other SEC schools, so money shouldn't really be an issue. So why in the football crazy south, heck, does MSU have such a small stadium?? The answer issss, "I don't know why!"  It makes no sense. Talk about leaving MONEY on the table. Talk about limiting your ability to recruit. Talk about limiting your ability to WIN.....why with 55,000 fanny's in attendance, how could you hope to create an SEC style home field advantage!!!??? By now I'm sure you are saying, "Col. why do you give a frogs flipper about MSU stadium size and attendence. What in the name of Shug Jordan, does that have to do with the price of lemonade at Toomers Drugs?"  Why?? I'll tell you why.....COW BELLS!! Thats right!! COW BELLS!!!  CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG...MY GOD, HOW IRRITATING WAS THAT LAST NIGHT!!! Vuvuzela's have nothing on the Bully Bell for pure noise and annoyance.. CLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANGCLANG .....ALL GAME LONG. And then it came to me.....sorry I'm not quick on the uptake..... The reason they use those GD COW BELLS is that, unlike every other SEC school that takes its football program seriously, they don't have 85,0000 to 105,000 in attendance to rattle the nerves of the opposing offenses and disrupt play calling. At 55,000, somewhat like a Ga Tech "gathering", you can't produce the type of noise in an open ended stadium to disrupt squat, so what do the MSU faithful do???? They bring COW BELLS to make up for it. WHY ITS TRADITION YA'KNOW??!! I know they have always done this, but last night REALLY seemed excessive and cost Auburn several time outs....and well....it's just plain wrong. What I can't believe is that the SEC ammended its noisemaking rule to ALLOW MSU to continue this ridiculously UNSPORTSMANLIKE tradition.....because of what, you may ask????.....because of their RIDICULOUSLY UNSPORTSMANLIKE TRADITION!!!  Who ran that through?? Jackie Sherril? For some odd reason MSU fans feel they are entitled to ring bells, shoot cannons, electrify the air, because their stadium size is half of Neyland Stadium....and BY GOD they should get a home field advantage too!! Malcolm X style!! BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY!! What a crock. Sooooooo, my point to the humble denizens of this blog is this, TWO can play at this game. And it doesn't require bringing in any artificial noisemakers either. Next year when the MAROONS come to town, I suggest everybody come to the game with a handful or less of dimes and pennies, buy a bottled water or soda at the concession, drink your drink, put your change someplace more comfortable, like that empty water bottle you just chugged and when Chris Relf hits the field....SHAKE THE EVER LOVING HELL OUT OF THAT BOTTLE!!! Its an old Auburn tradition my late Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather, General Beauregard Jackson Angus used to employ with pebbles and turtle shells to spook the UGA players when they visited the plains. You don't know about it becasue the rest of the folks watching the game told him to take his hearing funnel and his annoying stinky turtle shell and beat it before he gave them a headache.  So lets give the "other" bulldogs a tast of "Auburn Tradition" and  see how they like that!  And if they don't like it.....here's a note to you MAROONS....just like Chief Brody said, "You better get a bigger boat!!"    Till we kick Clemson hanky.....MMMAAAAGNOOOOLIAS!!!!



We're all just trying to have a good time here. Don't be a jerk, and we won't have a problem with you. War Eagle!

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