College football TV schedule: Week 1 viewing guide

"Clowney comin'!" - Streeter Lecka

Insiders tell us that college football is nigh.

Of course, the only game that actually matters involves the Fightin' Malzahns of Auburn, but we need to warm up to that game with a steady diet of lesser games. Here's our handy viewing guide of the best out-of-conference games this weekend, as well as the early SEC games. All times listed are CST.

Early SEC games

North Carolina @ South Carolina: Thursday, 5 p.m., ESPN

The 2013 season kicks off in the most appropriate way possible: with Steve Spurrier and Jadeveon Clowney. (Legally, we are obligated to advise you to wear a mouthguard while watching Clowney due to the increase in viewer concussions.)

Ole Miss @ Vanderbilt: Thursday, 8:15 p.m., ESPN

Here we go. The first true SEC conference game of the season. The winner of this one will be in the early driver's seat in it's respective division. Of course, that winner will almost certainly vacate the driver's seat as soon as the conference schedule really kicks in, but still.

Minor-league (non-SEC) games

Southern Cal @ Hawaii: Thursday, 10 p.m., CBSSN

Is this a big game? Nope. Should it be close? Not particularly. Will it give you real football to watch until 2 a.m. on opening night? Indubitably.

Texas Tech @ SMU: Friday, 7 p.m., ESPN

FRIDAY NIGHT SLINGSBURY. Despite being a network known for it's misogynistic underbelly, ESPN breaks a little piece off for the womenfolk here.

Buffalo @ Ohio State: Saturday, 11 a.m., ESPN2

Would your game prediction be any different if Ohio State were playing the Buffalo Bills instead of the University of Buffalo Bulls?

Boise St. @ Washington: Saturday, 9 p.m., FoxSports1

We admittedly haven't followed the realignment stories as closely as we should, but we're pretty sure that Boise State is a member of every conference in college football this year. Will Boise be the first BCS team to have to play itself in a bowl game with conference tie-ins?

Ohio @ Louisville: Sunday, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

Sunday afternoon college football! Auburn fans will be watching closely to see if Michael Dyer will be able to smoke the Ohio defensive front like we all know he's capable of doing.

FSU @ Pittsburgh: Monday, 7 p.m., ESPN

By Monday night, you've probably already lost your wife/girlfriend/significant other due to your football binge-watching and general odor. You may as well settle in for Jameis Winston's debut under center for the 'Noles. Many people think the kid could be special.

Check back on Friday to see the previews for the rest of the weekend's SEC slate. War Damn Opening Weekend, everyone!

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