He's coming to your city.
If you want the most entertainment value for your money, you'll buy a ticket to this weekend's Auburn-LSU contest. Dollar for dollar it doesn't get any better than this game. Go online to StubHub.com and buy that ticket. Spend $200. You'll thank me later.
Chances are something will burn down; the earth will move; or a quarterback will throw five interceptions in the fourth quarter and give the game away. For importance and sheer excitement, there's no other rivalry in the land that can touch it.
Auburn fans just thought the Tennessee and Florida series were exciting. Trading those two for LSU now looks like a bargain. Eleven of the last 18 games have been decided by a touchdown or less, including the last four in a row.
The good news for Auburn fans is that three points may be enough to win on Saturday if history is any indication. The Auburn offense has produced just 17 points in its last two wins over LSU - combined. Friday marks the 10th anniversary of LSU's last win at Jordan-Hare Stadium.
With a new quarterback at the helm for the Purple Tigers and Auburn's obvious struggles offensively, it's not far fetched to believe that neither team will reach double digits. It could be the second half before we see any scoring at all. Auburn has yet to give up a point in the first half this season.
Did any of us believe we'd be sitting here today talking about how much better Auburn's defense is this season compared to last year's? How's this for a stat? Auburn leads the nation in opponents' third-down conversion percentage, surrendering just three first downs in 46 attempts (6.5 percent). Furthermore, the Tigers ranks third nationally in scoring defense (5.0), ninth in rushing defense (53.0) and 10th in total defense (213.7).
The bad news: LSU's defense is every bit as good. They rank fifth nationally in rushing defense and 10th nationally in scoring defense. Like Auburn, they have hardly looked back since losing defensive coordinator Bo Pelini to Nebraska last year.
LSU enters the game an early three point favorite. This means odds makers generally believe the Bengals are a touchdown better (when you subtract home field advantage). But does anyone really know? LSU has yet to play anybody and they are lead by a quarterback that is better known for the last school he attended (Harvard) than for his athletic ability. I guess the same could be said for Auburn and Chris Todd.
What we do know is that fans will see the class of the SEC Saturday night. Auburn has the best record in the SEC against conference foes this century with a 48-17 mark. LSU ranks second with a 47-17 record.
Now would somebody please pass the corn dogs?
I want to wish my daughter, Caroline, a happy 13th birthday. She was born the day Auburn lost to LSU 12-6 in 1995 - something I've never let her forget. However, she redeemed herself two years ago on her birthday when Auburn beat the Bayou Bengals 7-3. Happy Birthday Caroline. I love you!