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Top 10 Things Mike Slive Told Lane Kiffin in Private



From the home office in Atlanta, Georgia, and just in from today's SEC meetings, where the commish publicly warned all the kids to stop the jabber-jawing, tonight's 10 Ten Things Mike Slive told Lane Kiffin in private:


10) "Listen, may I call you Kiffykins?"

9) "Do you shave your chest for those shirtless recruiting bits or is that Nair?"

8) "Al Davis called. He wants your self-respect back..."

7) "No, Saban is the short one and Spurrier is the visor..."

6) "I have no idea why Auburn hired Chizik either, but I rode in that recruiting limo down here and it is badazz..."

5) "I'm sorry, Fulmer WAS our double-secret enforcement guy, but you've only been here for 6 months..."

4) "Yea, Shane Matthews spoke his mind, but if you piss off Congressman Heath Shuler, you're f**k*d!

3) "What the hell? I think your name is tacked up at Florida Field more than Ben Hill Griffin's now..."

2) "So what's the deal with your hot wife?"

And the numero uno:

1) "One more outburst outta you, mister, and I'm sending a note home to your dad!"