From the home office in Atlanta, Georgia, and just in from today's SEC meetings, where the commish publicly warned all the kids to stop the jabber-jawing, tonight's 10 Ten Things Mike Slive told Lane Kiffin in private:
10) "Listen, may I call you Kiffykins?"
9) "Do you shave your chest for those shirtless recruiting bits or is that Nair?"
8) "Al Davis called. He wants your self-respect back..."
7) "No, Saban is the short one and Spurrier is the visor..."
6) "I have no idea why Auburn hired Chizik either, but I rode in that recruiting limo down here and it is badazz..."
5) "I'm sorry, Fulmer WAS our double-secret enforcement guy, but you've only been here for 6 months..."
4) "Yea, Shane Matthews spoke his mind, but if you piss off Congressman Heath Shuler, you're f**k*d!
3) "What the hell? I think your name is tacked up at Florida Field more than Ben Hill Griffin's now..."
2) "So what's the deal with your hot wife?"
And the numero uno:
1) "One more outburst outta you, mister, and I'm sending a note home to your dad!"