TAKES: 2ND EDITION, VOLUME 4

[Editor's note: Imagine these TAKES in the mind of someone who lived through 2012 and only saw the first half of Saturday's game. Imagine how you would feel if you had no idea what transpired in the second 30 minutes. Enjoy.]

I had a last minute invite to see Pettyfest in Nashville on Saturday, an intimate concert featuring Caleb Followill of Kings of Leon, Norah Jones, Emmylou Harris, Rodney Crowell, Butch Walker, Houndmouth, Karen Elson, Trisha Yearwood, the bro from Lady Antebellum, Patrick Carney from the Black Keys and a whole lot of other bros doing covers of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers songs. It was at War Memorial Auditorium, a venue that may hold 3,000, and we were on the front row. Jameson was passing out free Irish whiskey. Like, all you had to do was walk up to the bar and say, "I'll take a free Irish whiskey," and sure enough, they'd give you one. Wild.

So I missed the second half of the Auburn/LSU game. Entirely. I've not gone back and watched it. I have no idea what happened. There was apparently a controversial call? I dunno. Whatever. It wasn't worth my time.

I'll tell you why.

That effort I saw was terrible.

WHY ARE YOU GOING FOR IT ON FOURTH DOWN?

WHY CAN'T YOU HANG ON TO A SOAKING WET FOOTBALL, RAY GUY NOMINEE STEVEN CLARK?

WHY DO YOU BOTHER WAKING UP, JAKE HOLLAND?

IS JEREMY HILL GOING TO WIN THE HEISMAN? HE PUNCHED A GUY. THAT SEEMS UNFAIR.

This team sucks. It has no hope for the future. It's a dumpster fire. And I have nothing positive to say about that crap-fest I saw on Saturday. I'm really glad I missed the second half, when Auburn certainly must have continued to play terribly like the Tigers have in recent years and made no adjustments. I'm certainly glad that I saw nothing to encourage me about the future. I can go back to watching concerts and not caring again.

Pettyfest was awesome, though. Wish you could have been there.

More from College and Magnolia:

• Wednesdays with (Oscar) Whiskey
• College football viewing guide: FINALLY some decent games
• The Plainsman's Kitchen: Bye week is test week
• Auburn Tigers in the NFL: Week 3
• Undercover Barner: Morale victory