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TAKES. 3rd Edition. Vol. 4.

Let's find things to worry about!

John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

Being at home on a Saturday was really great. I toyed with the idea of going down, as that was likely my last opportunity until Texas A&M, but getting old got the best of me. I walked to The Red Zone down the street and enjoyed delicious, overpriced lemon pepper wings and then I took a nap after the game. It was really cool.

1. "Something just ain't right, y'all." To the gang that is upset about a 24-point win over an Arkansas team that looks like it may not be half bad, a dismantling of San Jose State, a six-point win over a Top 20, Power 5 team on the road and a 28-point victory over Louisiana Tech that saw two quarterbacks, four running backs and at least six receivers touch the ball - what is it you are looking for? What do you need to "see" to be satisfied? Does Auburn need to start Jonathan Wallace and tie one arm behind his back? Should they send eight men out there and score 63? I can't wrap my head around this mentality right now. Well, actually, I can. And you're not going to like it.

if you're upset with the way Auburn is playing right now, you're gambling on Auburn. And bros, I'm not going to give you advice about gambling that I learned from my own mistakes. Do what you want with your money. But even a gambler knows: don't gamble on your own team. It takes the fun out of it.

Maybe you're genuinely inventing things to worry about and you're not gambling. I don't know. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. If I lost a mortgage payment because Auburn didn't score 3.5 more points, I'd be upset, too. If you're just inventing things to worry about because you like to worry about things so you can create conversation, you're wasting a lot of energy. Take a walk with your significant other. Visit an ice cream parlor! Watch a new show on Netflix. There are plenty of things you can do that are a vast improvement over getting on the internet and complaining that your top five, undefeated college football team COULD be bad. Later. They aren't bad now, but it's coming. You're sure of it.

They just won a football game 45-17. Maybe take on a woodworking project in your garage? Go to a wine tasting! Listen to a good record! [I've been super into Tupelo Honey lately. Total dad record. Spin that bad boy.]

2. Ok, ok. There is this one thing. The offense isn't as completely flawless as it was at the end of last season. I think most people expected Tre Mason to be more easily replaced, and I think we never knew how much Jay Prosch was taken for granted. Greg Robinson is missed. Alex Kozan is missed. The offensive line is a bit troubling.

But y'all know the other team is trying to win, too, right? And still, Auburn has scored over 40 points three times. And four times, it has scored all of the points that it needed to score. More importantly, have you looked around? LSU was run out of Tiger Stadium, at night, by Mississippi State. Arkansas (which Auburn hung on to beat by 24) very nearly beat Texas A&M, a team that looked terrifying after Week One.

Alabama is who we thought they were. And the Auburn fanbase is evolving into what the Alabama fanbase has become over the last five years: a fanbase dissatisfied with everything, in some hollow quest for absolute perfection, hellbent on trying to point out flaws and hope that their own team loses so they can grandstand about how right they were.

Oh, you're not those things? So then what? You're a better coach than Gus Malzahn and he needs help? Call him up! You're a better quarterback than Nick Marshall? Put the chip clip on those Cheetos and strap on those shoulder pads, my main man!

This isn't going to last forever. Auburn is the hunted. Auburn is great at football right now. Enjoy it. Please. Stop griping and moaning about 28-point, effortless victories.

3. The Real MVP. Auburn's offense isn't as perfect as it was last year. But you know what is eons better? This defense. It's tipping balls at the line, it's creating turnovers. It hasn't allowed more than 21 points in a game. I swear to you, I VOW: if Auburn holds every opponent it plays to 21 points this season, it is going to win every game. I'll take that and run naked to the bank. The offense may not be as flawless, but if the defense is going to help out this year, it doesn't need to be.

4. The shakeout. Guess what, gang? It's all going to shakeout on Saturday. We'll know. We won't have to deal with hypotheticals. The West is about to beat up on each other. And Auburn may lose at the end of it. But right now, they haven't. So if it's all the same to you, I'm going to enjoy that my alma mater's football team has won 16 of its last 18 football games, shocked the world by managing to be the national runner up just one year after 2012, is the defending SEC Champion and is currently the fifth best team in America. I'd rather enjoy what I have than fret about what I don't. Probably a really great life tip tbqh. War Damn Eagle, forever.