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SB Nation Draft Scouting Report Generator: College and Magnolia Style!

We entered in some of our staff to see just what the Scouting Reports on them would should.

SB Nation has put together a "Bull*** Draft Scouting Report Generator" for folks to develop their own goofy, made-up, pointless draft scouting report. Just like the real things! Click on the link above to check it out. We decided to have some fun with it here and put in members of our staff and see what came out!

Walt Austin

Walt Draft

Well yeah, I can be too nice at times, but wait, what? Milk a cougar!?!? I... I don't even want to know what that could possibly mean.

Peggy Rossmanith

Peggy Draft

Yeah, well, law school can do that to your credit score, I've heard.

Bobby Barkley

Bobby Draft

We don't have much practice at folding toilet paper. Throwing it? Hell yes.


WarRoom Draft

Well we know he can read a playbook for sure. Have you seen our Xs and Os hub?


Tuco Draft

Hey, lawyers have to search for some strange things at times. Cut the man some slack.


PPL Draft

I eat ketchup and raw onions on mine, so who am I to complain about anyone else's hot dog opinions?

Dr Z

Dr Z Draft

Bad optometrist joke? Bad optometrist joke.


Blake Draft

Blake tweets a lot. This is my TAKE.

Oscar Whiskey

Oscar Whiskey Draft

Huh. Well I guess that only depends on where he's going!

Jared Robertson

Jared Draft Profile

A glass eye probably doesn't help in evaluations for a guy who writes about recruiting for us.


runyogasurf Draft

Wow, those scouts aren't even trying. Chihuahuas? Those big, beautiful pit bulls of hers and murph's are hardly chihuahuas! I hope the team that paid for this scouting report gets their money back!

Everett Duke

Everett Draft

Buttefeet? Pfffft, that man has impeccable footwork. Have you SEEN the man dance?!? He breaks down to some Taylor Swift like no one I've ever seen.