I missed the unveiling of BarnVision. Hate that, too, because from everything I've heard, that scoreboard is big as hell.
This was supposed to be easy, so I took it easy. I rolled out of bed mid-morning and had some biscuits. I watched GameDay's final ten minutes, because apparently, it ends at 10:30 now. And I watched whatever Auburn was doing on SEC Network from 11-2:30.
- Mean ol' Kevin Scarbinsky might be right. I almost just made this post a link to Kevin's column. A lot of folks got really upset with it and dismissed Kevin as a troll. And that's fair, because a lot of the time, Kevin is trolling. But all he said was that this was the worst win in Auburn history. Can you name one worse?
AUPPL suggested to me that Utah State in 2011 was on par. That's a good example. But this win cost Auburn ten poll positions (give or take, depending on your poll). It was a victory that nearly slid Auburn from sixth in the nation to out of the poll entirely. That is an awful win.
"But Blake. But Blaaaaaaaake A win is a win! I call a win a win!" Spare me. College sports is big dumb stupid fun. We use adjectives to describe things (the BEST play ever! the MOST VALUABLE player! the GREATEST!). We use superlatives. Sometimes, it doesn't have to fit your idea that the big ol' mean media has an agenda.
We open phone lines and we let average joes argue about sports because arguing about sports keeps our minds off of reality. So don't get worked up because the AL.com columnist called it Auburn's worst win ever. It was. It was really, really gross.
- The mean ol' commentators might be right. We have to at least explore the idea that Jeremy Johnson has some sort of vision problem, right? When he's missing, he's missing. And the competition has supposedly never been close, and we know he's really, really talented. It's wild, because he still completed somewhere around 65% of his passes, which should be, and barely was, good enough to win. But those 35% - yikes.
If he's not having vision problems, maybe he just isn't good? I know that's a hard pill to swallow, but if Sean White can give them a better chance to win, why not?
Jeremy Johnson straight up can't run the read option. Or Coach Malzahn doesn't think he can so he hasn't let him. And maybe that's what Malzahn means by "I need to help him." If this team can't win by passing or handing the ball off, it's not going to win. And without that threat, this offense can't live up to its potential. It's been noted that Malzahn adjusted his play-calling to fit what Nick Marshall could do. Maybe he can do it again and we're worried for nothing.
- Peyton "The Beefcake" Barber - It's troubling that Coach Malzahn won't just call Barber the starter. I mean, not that it matters, and I'm sure it'll be "by committee" all year long. But there isn't another #1 at running back. That much is clear about this offense. I'm not entirely sure the offensive line is or will live up to its billing either, and Barber has been able to make things happen regardless.
- Eli Jenkins is very good. Jacksonville State has a great quarterback. I mean, they have a great FCS team - not just good. Great. They are the island of SEC misfits, so Jenkins is surrounded with plenty of guys getting a third chance. So yeah, if that was your sunshine pumping talking points, you're not wrong.
What you're failing to acknowledge, Dr. Sunshine, is that no sixth ranked team in the FBS should struggle - like that with any FCS team. Should Vanderbilt? Absolutely. Should Middle Tennessee State? Yep. But if you're wanting Auburn to compete with Ohio State and Alabama, Auburn being taken to overtime - being taken to the wall - by Jacksonville State University of Jacksonville, Alabama, can't happen. Can't. No no no no no no no.
If you want to keep finding ways to be positive about it, that's fine. Because what you've decided to tell yourself isn't wrong. A win is a win and (by a certain standard) that was a very good football team. And who knows? Maybe you're right. Maybe they'll get it fixed and all that will matter about this game in November is that it was scored a W.
But I promise Coach Malzahn believes that he needs to fix some things. I think he can. Better yet? I know he can.
That doesn't mean that Saturday wasn't cause for concern if you are passionate about your favorite football team. It very much was.
These have been TAKES.