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Three Bone-Chilling Questions For Auburn Football Before Fall Camp

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While the lame-stream media is busy asking the “burning” questions, College and Mag is digging for answers to the more obscure questions facing Auburn football.

What if Robenson Therezie tackled Chris Davis?

Every time I watch the Kick Six, somewhere between the slight grin before the snap and the ear-to-ear smile as Davis is smothered in the end zone, a twinge of terror grasps my soul. But I don’t know whether to blame Therezie or Slender Man, who was visiting Jordan-Hare Stadium at the time.

Would Alabama have won the game in overtime? Many I talk to don’t think so under normal circumstances, but tackling your own teammate 10 yards from immortality might have been too much to overcome. An Auburn loss there would mean Alabama presently holds a five-game winning streak over the Tigers. They also would have undoubtedly defeated Jameis Winston and been deemed the best team ever. Again. Ugh.

How many people in the stands of Jordan-Hare Stadium will be playing Pokemon Go?

When Clint Richardson and I had our Q&A, I was asking about catching Pokemon on Auburn’s campus. But it’s the summer. There aren’t even a lot of students on campus. Now think about what Auburn’s like when there are tons of people outside the stadium before a game. Or worse, 87,000 people crammed into the stadium.

Bodda Getta Bodda Getta Bodda Getta Bah;

Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Bah;

Weagle, weagle, War Damn Eagle

Kick 'em in the Hey, it’s a Vapereon!

And then this happens.

How will you react when you see that? When you see the Auburn Family acting like that? I won’t be able to look.

If Auburn’s good when we think they’re bad and bad when we think they’re good, are they still good if we think they’re good only because we really think they’re bad?

The ol’ reverse jinx, if you will. No wait, it’s a normal jinx. I think. Anyway, have you considered what damage the recent trend of positivity could do to this team?

Auburn’s guards are two of the top three in the SEC and a big advantage in week 1. This defense could the best Malzahn’s ever had. The Tigers have a ton of really, really talented receivers coming in. Sean White didn’t look bad when healthy. You don’t bring in a JUCO QB for him not to play. Herb Hand will help turn things around.

We’re doomed.