Okay. So. It happened. Everyone saw.
After Auburn’s [seventh] real test of the season, here’s what we know so far:
Auburn’s defense, largely missing since the Tuberville years, held [a team that lost to Troy at home] to  points and  total yards in their own house.
Despite this, Auburn couldn’t come away with a win.
Auburn [blew a 20 point lead to a team that lost to Troy at home and only managed to gain SIXTY-FOUR second half yards. Six. Four. As in one more than 63 but one less than 65. In a game in which it previously had a TWENTY POINT LEAD].
So yeah. All in all, this past Saturday wasn’t a great night for Auburn. While the opener felt gross in the first half but evened out once the offense settled in, the offense [settled in and then took an abrupt left turn off a cliff] against [LSU]. Not only that, unlike [LSU], it seemed as if our coaches made no effort to adapt once it became clear that the gameplan, as [inexplicably changed], clearly wasn’t working. When [LSU’s] [beleaguered] D-line crashed the pocket ad nauseam, any sort of effort to triage was either non-existent or completely ineffectual. We never tried to hit quick throws across the middle or even swing a speedy back wide until far too late. We just kept sending Bubba to slaughter right up the middle [or throwing 60 yard incomplete passes exclusively] and wondering why Auburn couldn’t move the sticks. Just kidding. We didn’t wonder.
Does this column seem familiar? Because Auburn’s ineffectual and unimaginative offense sure seemed familiar on Saturday night. If the people in charge can repurpose old material for a new game, I don’t see any reason why I can’t as well.
So once again we find ourselves in the familiar situation wherein you don’t super want to read about this game and I don’t want to write about it. So I’ll leave you with some memories of happier times.
Being an Auburn fan isn’t always fun, and I’ve done my fair share of crying over some of the more heartbreaking games. I’m willing to bet a lot of us have. But Saturday hurt. Badly. I hated it for the players, and I hated it for the fans who made the trip to Baton Rouge expecting to see our first win there since that great 1999 game. Instead they saw Auburn lose a game in slow motion. We all knew what was coming, but no one could put out the fire.
I’d still pick to love Auburn every time, though, because Auburn picked me when I was born. My parents met there, and my destiny was written. It’s not always about where you went to school or to whom you give your money. It’s about what tugs at your heartstrings. So we’re in this thing for the long haul, right? It’s okay to be frustrated and ask questions, but we just have to keep moving forward. Support the players. Love the team.
Auburn will be taking on BERT’s Hogs on my 30th birthday, so for all of our sakes, let’s hope we come away with a win. Arkansas is an abysmal team but that doesn’t always matter if they’ve got something to play for, especially at home. If you’re making the trip to Fayetteville, enjoy the scenery. I’ve heard it’s beautiful up there.
Until next time—War Eagle always.