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Undercover Barner: Bye Bye Bye

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This week’s Undercover Barner is light on bye week football talk but heavy on GIFs.

NCAA Football: Auburn at Arkansas Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

So I moved to Montgomery this past weekend.

It’s all part of an exciting left hand turn I decided to take, but between moving furniture that was entirely too heavy, scheduling appliance deliveries, and unpacking thirty years worth of personal effects, I didn’t get a chance to watch much college football. Not to mention I didn’t have cable or internet. Talk about roughing it.

But in the interest of general awareness and my responsibilities to you, dear readers, I took a few minutes to catch up on the small slate of SEC games this past week and a few other games of national consequence.

My reactions to such games are as follows:

Arkansas 38, Ole Miss 37

Ole Miss fans aren’t having a great season. I wish I were easier to feel sorry for them. Haha just kidding. I hate that BERT eeked out a W, but someone had to win I guess.

Georgia 42, Florida 7

You know I love a cocktail party, but I can’t really think of two sets of fans I’d want to hang out with less. Good thing they hung out with each other. Everyone else won.

South Carolina 34, Vanderbilt 27

South Carolina’s quarterback went to Opelika. Have we said that enough?

Missouri 52, UConn 12

I want to start adding Zs where they don’t belong in words as “nicknames.” We’re now Auzzu.

Mississippi State 35, Texas A&M 14

I don’t super get football.

Kentucky 29, Tennessee 26

I didn’t know it was possible for Butch Jones to become a LAMER duck, but here we are. And truth be told, I’m happy for Kentucky football fans. Their basketball fans are genuinely terrible and awful, but their football fans deserve a break every now and then.

Ohio State 39, Penn State 38

On the flip side, I don’t particularly like tOSU, and I’m happy for the PSU players that they’re not terrible, but Penn State fans, specifically the Joe-bots that repeatedly made excuses for a football program that systematically ignored the sexual assault of children, don’t super deserve for their football program to be good again. So this was pleasing.

Clemson 24, Georgia Tech 10

Tbh I was just trying to round out the list with non-SEC games. Everyone I really care about had a bye this week.

The Tide, 1,000,000, Disrespecting The Tide 0

Even on a bye week.

Despite there being no actual value in transitive football predictions, I was most interested in the Mississippi State/Texas A&M game this past weekend. After a rocky start against UCLA, Texas A&M looked good up until they ran into internationally-known buzzsaw, Dan Mullen. Looking at the box score, MSU scored in every quarter and held TAMU to only scoring twice in the second half. I was feeling pretty lousy about this weekend’s upcoming game with the Aggies until I saw this score. I don’t feel totally comfortable (lol when do I ever?) but if MSU slowed them down while managing to score consistently, I feel better about our chances at Kyle Field.

I hope you had a relaxing bye week, Tiger fans. It seemed to come at a perfect time for the team and for me as well. Now it’s time to bear down and hit November right in the mouth. If you’re making the trip to College Station, be sure to be loud and proud. TAMU is one of the few places where the gameday experience gives Auburn a run for its money and it’s purely because A&M people love A&M so darned much.

I’m looking forward to re-joining the land of the Saturday living now that I’m back on the grid.

Until next time—War Eagle!