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Offseason Survival Guide: Week 2

One down, It Gets Easier

NCAA Basketball: SEC Tournament-Auburn vs Missouri
Aubie Grows Natty Dreads in the Offseason
Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

We made it through one week. If you accomplished everything on my list from last week, then you had a rich and full weekend. Shout out to anyone who spent memorial day weekend talking about the NBA instead of worrying about how Auburn is getting too much pre-pre-season hype. Life is too short to get caught up in not wanting your team to be ranked highly. We all know that fan who wants Auburn to always start the season around 16 and no higher. That’s no way to live!

Anyway, that’s already too much football talk. We need to keep our wits about us. We need to fill our Saturdays with something of substance, and not just hot air and hotter trips to Six Flags or wherever your family takes you. If you’re at Six Flags over Texas in the Summer then you’re secretly joining NASA’s project to put a man on the sun, or you moved to America from Mercury or you’ve made a huge mistake.

I promise I am here to help. Here is how you get to next week:


Hopefully you made those biscuits I told you about last week. Sticking with a breakfast theme, I’m going to give you a one pan recipe that will blow your family’s minds. Or just your mind. Sometimes the best breakfasts are the ones you intend to serve everyone, but end up just eating yourself before everyone else wakes up.


  • One large sweet potato, cut into cubes
  • One onion, diced
  • 2 spicy peppers, could be jalepeño, diced
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • One pound of bacon
  • One tomato, diced
  • 8 eggs
  • Lots of cheese, up to you how much, but at least a cup

You are going to need a cast iron skillet for this. If you don’t have one, go get one but don’t make a fuss over it. It doesn’t need to be the most expensive and an 8-inch one will do just fine. Put it on medium heat, or on top of your campfire (this is a great recipe for camping). Cook the bacon. Remove cooked bacon and leave all the bacon grease in the pan and then put the sweet potato directly into the bacon grease. When the sweet potatoes are soft, which should take a few minutes, add the onions, peppers, and garlic. When the onions become transparent, add the eggs. Take your knife and cut the cooked bacon into small pieces and then place them on top of the eggs along with the tomato. Go to town on the cheese once the eggs start to solidify. When the cheese has melted, you are done. Salt and pepper to taste, and serve it like a slice of pie. If you want to make some more biscuits to go along with this hash, don’t let anyone get in your way.


Interested in Philosophy? Well either way, you will learn a lot from watching Dr. Robert Paul Wolff lecture on Immanuel Kant this weekend. He is an amazing teacher and Kant is always super interesting.

Roger Moore passed away last week, so you should definitely pay him respect by watching one of the best James Bond films ever. For me, it doesn’t get much better than Live and Let Die. From the sweet theme song by Sir Paul McCartney/WINGS to the hilariously bad special effects, this movie has everything I’m looking for in a James Bond flick. If you don’t like these kinds of movies, I don’t know what to tell you.

The World Championships of Table Tennis are this weekend. I only know that because I live in Düsseldorf and that’s where they are taking place. Freaking ping-pong traffic is a nightmare. Watch some table tennis:


This engaging, interesting, and thought-provoking article by the always great Skip Hollandsworth about a man who committed a murder as a 12-year old and is still behind bars 25-years later.

Brazil’s Car Wash Scandal Reveals a Country Soaked in Corruption” I mean, of course you want to read that.

Get Outside

This week I want you to go to your map, whether it is on your phone or you have a paper map doesn’t matter. Find the nearest bit of blue on the map that isn’t privately owned. River, lake, or ocean doesn’t really matter much for this exercise. For some of you this may be a long way from your house, for others it might be in your back yard. Either way, go to it. Best way to do this is to run to it or to bike to it. Self-propelled travel is better for you and mother earth plus the pesky “other people” problem is solved when you tell them you aren’t driving. Since Spring doesn’t exist anymore and we are already in Summer, it is likely already hot outside. Perfect. Your task is to go to the nearest navigable body of water and sit up to your waist in it for thirty minutes. That’s it. If you run there, this will feel amazing. Like a built in reward for your hard work. Either way, you will likely see some nature and maybe even part of the world you’ve never seen before. That makes you a better human being. Plus you need to swim a little bit to burn off that pound of bacon you ate for breakfast.