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Offseason Survival Guide: Week 4

Sending you into the weekend like an Austin Wiley dunk

NCAA Basketball: SEC Tournament-Auburn vs Missouri
Throw it DOWN, big man!
Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

There is a lot of noise in the world. The news and even sports media will try and drag you down, to get your mood headed in a negative direction, and to really harsh your weekend mellow. Especially in times like this, when there is no end in sight to the offseason, we can fall prey to silly media games and gimmicks. We can end up arguing “Who is more NOW” on SportsCenter (remember that nonsense?) or whether a basketball player who just averaged a triple-double in his eighth trip to the NBA finals is somehow in danger of having a tarnished legacy. Don’t fall into that trap, friends. Remember, now is the time to work on ourselves. We become better people in the offseason so we have the excuse to party and be awful people during the season. Or something.


Grilled Chicken in Bourbon BBQ Sauce.

  • As many chicken breasts as will feed your brood
  • 34 cup ketchup
  • 34 cup bourbon
  • 1 tablespoon sugar
  • 4 tablespoon molasses (sorghum if you can get it)
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar (I use rice vinegar sometimes instead)
  • 1 tablespoon spicy dijon mustard
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 12 onion, minced
  • 12 teaspoon black pepper
  • Crushed red pepper flakes to preference

Put the garlic and onion with a little butter in a sauce pan and cook until translucent. Now add all the other ingredients besides the chicken and bring to a boil. Stir a few times, reduce the heat after it gets to boiling. Simmer until the sauce you’ve made is now only about 2 cups. Take saucepan outside and put next to the grill. Throw the chicken on the grill over a charcoal fire. As the chicken cooks, spread the sauce thickly over each piece. Repeat this over and over until it almost appears a crust is formed. Flip the birds and repeat on the other side. Serve when the chicken is cooked through. This is good.


This two-part episode of the Gordon Ramsey show “Hotel Hell.” Basically he goes to crappy hotels in the US and yells at a bunch of people and then they make their hotel good again. However, this episode is so ridiculous my wife and I reference it constantly.

Also you should be watching The Last Man on Earth. It is insanely funny and so smart. You can catch up with episodes on Fox’s website. We are growing closer and closer to the TV singularity where all shows are available to all people for free. I am waiting with anticipation for that day.


This GQ piece from last year on how the people who work at Chili’s have created a cult-like culture. Because I prefer my fajitas come with a side of heartfelt devotion to a larger good.

The Isle of Man Time Trial is one of the deadliest motorcycle races on earth. It has killed hundreds of riders since it started in 1907, yet some of it’s riders see it as a spiritual exercise. Read about it.

Everything you could possibly want to know about how companies get their logos on those blue exit signs on the highway.

Go Outside

Go find some public land and take friends or family there and sleep overnight outside. Living in Europe, one of the things I miss the most about the United States is public land. State and National Parks, our birthright as Americans, might be the greatest thing our country has. The fact that you can go sleep in a tent in breathtaking natural places for little to no money, can be assured that land hasn’t been spoiled by development, is enough to make me wear a USA hat in public here. So go outside. Get a tent or an RV and go sleep in the beauty of America. If you can’t make it to Yosemite this weekend, that’s OK. There are plenty of national parks to go around. Chances are there’s a place near you where you can show your kids what tree bark looks like and what quiet sounds like. If you don’t have a family or friends, that’s chill too. One of the most formational moments of my life involved me sleeping by myself in a hammock in Big Bend National Park for a week. I recommend it.