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Boom! Roasted!! - Week 7

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Welcome friends. Welcome to your safe haven. Welcome to a place where you don’t have to think about that game. Welcome to a place where we can enjoy the funny things that happened on Saturday, because there were plenty to choose from.

This week we will focus on what happened in the afternoon games, you know, those games you didn’t get to see because you were emptying out the last of your Woodford or Eagle Rare bottles (both excellent choices by the way). So lets dive into it with the GAME OF THE WEEK IN THE SEC!

THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO RED STICK

Remember, you forsaken Auburn fans, when your Georgia buddies made fun of you for losing to de Coach O? Yeah, I do too. Well, for the first time in forever, Georgia made their way to Tiger Stadium as the number 2 team in the land to take on a just beaten by Florida, LSU team. So how did that go you ask?

BAH GAWD IN HEAVEN THAT’S JOE *$&%^(@ BURROW’S MUSIC!!!!!!

AND YOU WILL DO WELL TO REMEMBER IT SIR!

This was a whipping….like on the level of last November style whipping of the Dawgs. It did my heart good to see and made me enjoy my Angles Envy a touch better somehow (I had finished the bottle of Woodford….Eagle Rare is for special occasions, like when Auburn does that to Georgia).

So that was our first giggle of Saturday afternoon, but there couldn’t be another….could there…

GREEN OUT IN UN-HAPPY VALLEY (see what I did there)

So Mark Dantonio the Spartans have not been what they normally are for the past 2 years or so. Just kinda stuck in the mud on offense but the defense is still pretty stout. Just ask Penn State, who hosted Michigan State for the Land Grant trophy. Both teams struggled to a tie at 14 till the Nits broke out on top 17-14 in the 4th. That led to Michigan State trying the most questionable Fake FG that almost worked…

Offa. Well after stopping McSorely and the Nits one more time, the Green had one more shot to get down into field goal range WIN THE WHOLE F’ING THING TERRITORY!

Which led to….

Followed by…

Ah College Football…you make me happy.

QUACK!!!

Remember a couple of weeks ago when Auburn actually won a football game? Yeah, me either, but it did happen in early September (God it seems like so long ago), when the Tigers somehow found a way to beat Washington of all teams. I felt really bad for the Huskies that somehow THIS Auburn team beat them…well I don’t any more. First, with a 24-24 tie and just seconds left on the clock, Oregon burned through their remaining time outs to ice the kicker for Washington, which he made 1 and missed 1 that he tried, to only miss again and that led to overtime…and this…

While this isn’t a terrible loss for the Huskies, it is when coupled with their OTHER loss and, when you factor in the Stanford loss to Notre Dame a few weeks ago, basically means Colorado is the last hope for a Pac-12 team to make the playoff, but they must stay undefeated.

*assistant runs up and whispers something in writers’ ear*

What’s that now….31-20 to Southern Cal….Oh….well….MOVING ON THEN.

THE EYES OF TEXAS WERE ABOUT TO BULGE OUT OF THEIR HEADS

Coming off of their huge win over OU last week, this was expected to be a walk for Texas. Baylor is still reeling off of the Art Bryles stuff though Matt Rule (remember that name for, oh I don’t know, after Thanksgiving maybe) has done a nice job rebuilding from the salted earth that was Waco. Texas jumped out to a 23-10 lead and looked to be coasting, until…

Annnnd whoo boy, did anyone else feel it get a little tight in here? Well it got tighter because Baylor got the ball back and march down to about the Texas 20 for the last play of the game.

That was a audible release of an hour of pent up dread. You may say, oh Drew, you are over exaggerating. Oh….am I now?

And that’s why Man Caves were constructed son…


Before I leave you this week dear reader, let me take you back to just before you passed out at your tailgate. You and your buddies were talking about Auburn’s schedule and you said, “I don’t know where Auburn’s 6th win is gonna come…I can see 5 with Liberty, but that 6th….”

Well let’s just check in on that 5th win you speak of as Troy went up to take on the Flames.

I’m gonna need a lot more bourbon to get through this football season…