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DECISION 2019: Gatewood Drive to Victory

NCAA Football: Under Armour All America Game
Behold Your Deliverer Comes in a Familiar Form
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Son Of Crow approaches the podium

Crow: Thank you so much. Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

(APPLAUSE)

Thank you, for the opportunity Jack. You make us all proud.

On behalf of the great University of Auburn...University... crossroads of a conference, Power of Dixieland, let me express my deep gratitude for the privilege of addressing this commentariat. This is a particular honor for me because, let’s face it, my presence on this stage is pretty unlikely.

My father was a Baylor graduate, and I was born and raised to be one as well. I grew up attending Baylor games in the football equivalent of a a tin-roof shack (Floyd Casey Stadium). His father, my grandfather, was an LSU grad. But my brother decided to attend a different school, out of state. I visited him at this magical place, Auburn, and decided to follow him when I saw Cadillac go crazy in the 2003 Iron Bowl.

(APPLAUSE)

While studying here I saw Carnell Williams, Ronnie Brown, Ben Tate, and Kenny Irons dominate through feats of sheer athletic superiority.

(APPLAUSE)

After I graduated, Auburn went through a bit of a depression, only to be revived by another brilliant super-athlete named Cameron Jerrell Newton.

(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE)

He caused big dreams to be born in the minds of the sons and daughters of Auburn, a common dream born of size and athleticism. This team had not only an improbable athlete; we shared an abiding faith in the possibilities of what Auburn can do when we have the best player on the field. Auburn fans would claim to be “blessed,” believing that in college football’s America, there is no barrier to success, when you have the best athlete on your team playing quarterback.

(LIKE SO MUCH APPLAUSE)

Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our University’s football team is not because of the height of our jumbotrons, or the number of our luxury boxes, or the size of our practice facility; our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over three decades ago: “Bo Jackson

(APPLAUSE)

... over the top!”

That is the true genius of Auburn, we get the best players EVER here...

(RAUCOUS APPLAUSE)

This year, in this decision, we are called to reaffirm our values and our commitments, to hold them against a hard reality and see how we are measuring up, to the legacy of our forbearers and the promise of future generations.

Auburn fans don’t expect Malzahn to solve all their problems. But they sense, deep in their bones, that with just a slight change in priorities, we can make sure that every child in the Auburn Family has a decent shot at a title and that the doors of opportunity are closed to the Tide. They know we can do better. And they want that choice.

In this election, we offer that choice. We have chosen a man to lead us who embodies the best this roster has to offer. And that man is Joey Gatewood.

Joey Gatewood is really tall, really fast, and really strong.

(FIVE MINUTES OF SUSTAINED APPLAUSE)

Joey Gatewood believes in an Auburn future that includes work, hard work. Joey Gatewood believes in an Auburn where the ball is thrown deep to streaking receivers who have to run under it even though they are incredibly fast. Instead of running doomed draw plays to undersized running backs on third and short, he wants to run the ball himself! He is super strong you guys.

(APPLAUSE)

Joey Gatewood believes in the freedoms that made our offense the envy of the college football world, and he will never sacrifice our ability to keep the defense honest on the zone read.

(APPLAUSE)

And Joey Gatewood believes that in the modern SEC, passing needs to be an option sometimes, but running fools over should still be the first option.

(CACAPHONOUS APPLAUSE)

Now, let me be clear. Let me be clear. We have a few good options at QB. These guys can all play. They must all be developed. But none of them are better than Joey Freaking Greatwood.

(APPLAUSE AND HARRUMPHING)

Joey Gatewood believes in Auburn. And he knows that it’s not enough for him to just win football games. He needs to reconnect us as a people.

Now even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and clickbait peddlers who embrace the philosophy of anything goes as long as it gets subs and clicks.

Well, I say to them tonight, there’s no longer Sunshine Pumping Auburn and Realist Auburn, there is Auburn.

The pundits and the board mods like to slice and dice our fanbase into segments. But I’ve got news for them, too. We will start an awesome QB for the Pumpers, and an awesome QB for the Realists.

The pumpers like the inverted veer run to perfection, and guess what, so do the realists.

(APPLAUSE)

We are one Family, all of us pledging allegiance to the Orange and the Blue, all of us wanting to see Auburn win more games in the conference than it loses.

(SHOUTS AND APPLAUSE)

In the end, that’s what this election is about. Do we live in a fanbase of cynicism, or do we live in a fanbase of hope?

Joey Gatewood calls on us to hope. I’m not talking about blind optimism here, the almost willful ignorance that thinks all the losses to LSU will magically go away if Gus calls the plays again.

That’s not what I’m talking. I’m talking about something more substantial. It’s the hope of fans sitting around a tailgate singing the fight song; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that Auburn has a place for him, too. (we love you, Noah Igbinoghene)

Auburn, tonight, if you feel the same Barner energy that I do, if you feel the same Barner passion that I do, if you feel the same Barner hopefulness that I do, then we will do what needs to be done and Joey Gatewood will be Auburn’s starting QB in 2019. And this team will reclaim its rightful place as that school that every so often has a generation-defining player. And out of this long darkness a brighter day will come.

Thank you very much, everybody.

Just look at this freaking guy:


Jonesy approaches the podium

In the previous days we’ve heard much about running quarterbacks to add versatility back to this offense. To once again force a defense to defend all 11 players at once. Gus Malzahn has coached two outstanding running quarterbacks. One of them was a small man who won 18 starts in two years and an SEC title. The other was a large man who won every game put in front of him. Now who do you want to emulate? The large man, or the small man?

I ask you what was our weakness in running the football in 2018. Surely it was running between the tackles and picking up short yardage when needed. What better way to solve that problem than applying a little THICCness at the quarterback position? Why not go back to using the Wildcat formation without a different player taking snaps? Why not return to our beloved inverted veer and its multitude of options and play-fakes? If Gus Malzahn is going to run this offense, then by God let Gus Malzahn run his offense.

Do we want to hand this over to a child? Do we want to hand this over to someone who played baseball? Do we want to hand this over to at best a homeless man’s Nick Marshall? Not my Auburn.

Just remember, 100% of Auburn’s national championships in the last 15 years have come with a large man who used to play football in Florida behind center.

Thank you, and War Eagle.

James Jones
T5SIHDT

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