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The College and Mag Roundtable: The Southern Miss Game

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NCAA Football: Arkansas at Auburn John Reed-USA TODAY Sports

Me: Ok Auburn fans, I know this has been a heck of a last two weeks. The Auburn internet has firmly divided itself again, and it seems as if no one can decide if Auburn is destined for success this season on the back of its elite defense or if we are all just settling for another four loss taste of extreme failure the likes of which have never been seen here under other coaching staffs. There needs to be something to unite the fanbase, Aubie.

Aubie: There sure does, Crow, and I think I have a guest who can do just that.

Me: Wow, Aubie. That’s really cool. Is it some sort of celebrity?

Aubie: Well, kinda. He’s been on TV and is a very good boy.

Me: Okayyy. So it’s a dog?

Aubie: Yes! It’s Bark Farve, the dog Brett Favre hit with a football in that dumb commercial!

Me: So, Southern Miss great Brett Favre’s dog is named Bark Favre?

Bark: woof

Aubie: Good boy, Bark. Crow, he’s not really Brett’s dog, he’s Brett’s half-brother.

Me: This is weird. So Bark, are you a Southern Miss fan?

Bark: woof woof woof.

Aubie: He’s a dog, he can’t talk.

Me: Ok. But Aubie, how are we supposed to have a roundtable with a famous guest if our guest doesn’t speak?

Aubie: We talk about football and pet a good dog?

Me: I guess that sounds OK too, but we can’t really get Bark’s take can we?

Bark: woof.

Aubie: Why would you care what a dog thinks?

Me: I wouldn’t, you were supposed to bring a guest.

Aubie: Crow! Let’s not argue! That’s what the pumpers do with the “realists,” and we are just a couple of chill buddies who like to have a good time.

Me: That’s true, Aubie. We are chill buddies.

Bark: woof.

Me: I just, I just wish there was some good news to tell the Auburn folks about this season.

Aubie: well, there was this tweet from Ferg:

Aubie and Crow look at each other.

Aubie and me: Skyrockets in flight! Inside Zone Delight! AAAAAAAH Inside zone delight!

music starts

Aubie: Gonna find ole Boobie, gonna run him right

Gonna run some Inside Zone Delight

The running game has been less than right

Why run into the teeth of a defensive line?

But we know Arkansas was maybe just a warm up game

And ya know Southern Miss is pretty easy anyway

Me: Thinkin’ about Barnin really hard tonight

Hope the boys can run the Inside Zone Delight

keepin’ Stidham off the ground’ll make the passes fly

And the thought of scorin’ points is getting so exciting

Aubie and Me: Sky rockets in flight

Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Aubie: Started out this morning yellin at trolls online

I thought beating Georgia and Bama last year was more than fine

But I’ve got no time for hatin’ and I think I might watch Gus run

A little Inside Zone delight

Aubie and Me: Sky rockets in flight

Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Me: Please don’t bring useless negativity around

We can do a lot of winnin’ ‘for the season’s out

Thinkin’ about Barnin really hard tonight

Hope the boys can run the Inside Zone Delight

keepin’ Stidham off the ground’ll make the passes fly

And the thought of scorin’ points is getting so exciting

Sky rockets in flight

Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Ahhhhh Inside Zone delight

Every Auburn fan At Once: Inside Zone DELIGHT!

music fades

Me: Wow, that felt good

Aubie: You were a little pitchy, but yeah.