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The College and Mag Roundtable: The Alabama State Game

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We Sit Down with A Celebrity Guest

2013 Gruene Woche Agricultural Trade Fair
It’s the Wurst.
Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images

We’re back! After a great opening week that saw Auburn beat a good Washington team in exciting fashion, we get our first true home game of the season. Our orange and blue buds will be back in our beloved Jordan-Hare Stadium to face another out of conference opponent. I’m glad it’s the first home game, because otherwise it would be pretty tough to get excited about a game featuring a top ten Auburn team feasting on a SWAC opponent. That said, I am very excited to get to this week’s roundtable. FYI, I let Aubie pick the guest this week.

Me: Well, Aubie, what a week. We got a big win in Atlanta, and you and I got to speak with one my heroes.

Aubie: Enrnie? Yeah that was fun.

Me: ...yeah. Well big cat, who do you have for us to talk to this week? I know it isn’t a big game, but you sure seemed excited about this for some reason.

Texas A&M v Auburn Photo by Butch Dill/Getty Images

Aubie: Crow, we got us a real live celebrity this week. A man of the people, a man who says what needs to be said.

Me: I can’t wait!

Aubie: The guy from the sausage commercials!

Al: Hello Friends

Me: Hi Al.

Aubie: hahahahahahahahahah Outstanding in its field, Crow did you get it?

Me: yeah Aubie, I got it.

Al: What is this?

Me: Well Al, this is the “Corner of Auburn and the Internet” where we discuss and debate this weeks upcoming game. Do you have any thoughts on the Alabama State Hornets?

Al: I hate hornets. You gotta spray your whole porch if you see a hornet. Nothing worse’n seeing one of them when you’re trying to wrestle up a picnic for the family. Could really ruin a Saturday, guy.

Me: I see what you mean, this is one of those games where Auburn should win going away, but if the Tigers struggle or look less than convincing it will ruin a lot of people’s Saturdays.

Aubie: Because he is out standing in a field! Outstanding out standing in a field!

Me: Yeah we got it.

Al: I’m glad y’all like the commercial.

Me: Sure. Do you think the Auburn pass defense is ever going to be challenged again the way Washington stressed it last weekend? Ole Miss has a great aerial attack and Alabama has Tua or whatever, but how do you think those stack up?

Me: So...don’t water it down? I mean I think I see what you mean. That Washington secondary was all killer and no filler, too. I think Stidham is going to have a much easier go of it this weekend.

Aubie: Guess where the Auburn football team is?

Me: out standing in their field?

Aubie: hahahaa yeah.

Al: Don’t pay for water, friends.

Aubie: You’re the best, Al.

Me: Ok. Alabama State beat Tuskeegee last week, but was outgained 482-292. The Hornets forced three turnovers and that was the difference in the game. Last season, Mercer forced five turnovers in an annoying game Auburn fans would love to forget. Do either of you think this week’s game will play out like last year’s game against Mercer?

Aubie: Mercer, I just met her!

Al: That’s pretty good.

Me: No it wasn’t Al.

Aubie: Don’t talk to Al like that.

Me: Sorry Al. But can we take this seriously? We didn’t all sit down here just to make the outstanding in its field.

Aubie: We didn’t?

Me: This would be a long way to go for one lousy pun.

Aubie: I’ve gone way farther.

Me: (looking to the camera) I dreamed a dream that this article series would work. Then we started and the nightmare began, Aubie. You’ve turned me into a real Fantine from Les Mis.

Aubie: Well as the master of the house, I’ll make you breakfast when you wake up from that dream.

Me: Thanks Al. Aubie, I guess just give me your last thought for this week’s game. And can we keep it professional. No puns about the Hornets.

Aubie: No Puns about the Hornets? I guess that would really bug you.

Me: Please don’t. This has already been the worst article in the history of this website.

Aubie: Yeah. But it’s Hornets week, so none of the articles will get much buzz.