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BOOM! Roasted!! - Bowl Edition

First off, I want to say thank you to our readers for voting this series as the best of the year, you really don’t know what it means to me that you guys enjoy me making fun of teams and situations throughout the year, so a heart felt thank you again.

Now…with all that gushiness over and a liver full of eggnog processing, let’s begin the run through of the Oscar Meyer’s Capital One BOWL SCRAMBLE brought to by Discover and powered by the Amazon ‘Let’s Take Over the World’ Computing System!!!

Armed Forces Bowl

Army – 70

Houston – 14

I have to include this game because I will forever be mad at myself for not calling my buddy in Tunica and making so maaaaaaaaaaad Christmas money on this game. I knew….KNEW Army was going to run through Houston….I mean I knew it like I know who won World War 2 knew. How did I know you ask? Let me share this tweet with you to sum it up.

Yeah….that’s how I knew.

So, how did the game go you ask (without looking at the score above…)

Offa…..Yeah, and that wasn’t the worse thing that happened to the Cougs that day. How about the Black Knights hanging 507 rushing yards on Houston and this happening to their defense for a TD run

GOOD GOD! And they are going to give that man a gun and he will be defending our freedom soon (thank you for your service by the way to all the Army players). This was a whipping of epic proportions and if you enjoy the simple but beautiful art of the triple option, I highly recommend a rewatch of this one, which is more than I can say for our next selection.

Cheez-It Bowl

TCU – 10

Cal – 7


Ok….be…..before we begin on this, SB Nation’s own Jason Kirk already roasted this bad boy better than I ever could have and his article is right here.

I must admit that I didn’t watch a second of this game and I won’t do it. I’ve had to watch Auburn football all fall long and that has already set me back to the 2012 season on offensive efficiency, I’m not going back to the 2008 Baby I’m Burning game by watching this game (shudders) I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT TO MYSELF!! (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, 1) shame on you, you should never forget, and 2) Watch this….


However, this game had everything, multiple quarterbacks, nine interceptions (that’s right, 9…I spelled it out so you didn’t think it was a typo), switching kickers only to end up where you began…

EVERYTHING!!! Please give Jason some clicks on that because that is some excellent work by one of the best we have.

Holiday Bowl

Northwestern – 31

Utah – 20

On first blush, you look at the score and go, “Wow, good win for Pat Fitzgerald and the Wildcats to bounce back after the B1G title game.” Oh, that’s where you are wrong. This was a freaking stunning game, WITH GUS FREAKING JOHNSON CALLING IT!!

Oh, yes. Back to the game, it started just like I personally thought it would, with the Utes jumping out to a lead and cruising into the half.

The second half however was…different. It started with this:

Then we had BIG GUY TD ALERT:

Follow that with Northwestern’s Defense going bonkers and not letting Utah do a thing offensively and the Wildcat Offense adding another score for the final. Here are the complete highlights:

It also led to this magical photo of Fitzgerald:

You are a better person now just for seeing that photo.

Sugar Bowl

Texas – 28

Georgia -21

I don’t know about you but I looked at this matchup as a shoe in. Georgia was an upset football team since they had a legit shot at beating Alabama and making the playoff. Even still after the SEC Championship game, they had an outside shot at getting in, but Oklahoma slid in just before Georgia. Well, after the kickoff of the Clemson-Notre Dame game, Georgia players took to Twitter to voice their feelings that Notre Dame shouldn’t have been in the game at all! Some players have since deleted their tweets for some reason…

But it didn’t stop there…

So fast forward to the Sugar Bowl, someone in their infinite wisdom, thought it would be a really good photo op if UGA and Bevo were in the same shot, you know, since they’re both animals and all. Well, Bevo was not there to look pretty…BEVO CAME TO PLAY!!!


Let’s get a better look at that Longhorn rushing attack!

Sadly, for Bulldog fans, the on the field Dawgs didn’t fare too much better, here are the highlights.

Georgia was able to make a game of it late but for a team that took to twitter so quickly...might shoulda showed up for your own bowl game. Also, cudos to the Longhorn fans at the end for getting a dig in on not only Georgia, but a sideways dig in on the Aggies as well!

Not a huge fan of the SEC chant and all, but it was at Georgia’s expense, and that pleases me.
HOWEVER IT DIDN’T END THERE!!! You know how bowl games have Hall of Fame’s now a days...well...who would you least like to see if you were a Georgia fan, down 17-7 at the half?

That’s right...THE Head Ball Coach! COMPLETE WITH CHOMP!!! This game has now officially replaced Louisiana-Monroe vs Alabama in 2007 as my favorite non-Auburn football game of all time. It has it all, players talking smack and ignoring their game, a team that is waaaay overmatched showing up and leading throughout, a former most hated head coach showing up and trolling hard at the half AND THEN! one team’s mascot attacking the other pregame! (shades of 2000 Auburn-Vandy! If you were there, you know what I’m talking about). It had everything and I will love it forever!

And that was the bowl season in a nutshell, since you already saw Auburn PAINT THE WALLS WHITE with Purdue. Could we just play them, Illinois and Indiana all the time? Heck, even throw in Nebraska…I hear they are fun. But, its hibernation time for the Roasted. Until next fall, don’t stand behind Brian Kelly when he’s on TV...