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...And That’s When I Knew I Could Always Laugh at Georgia

Isn’t this supposed to be a brotherly rivalry?

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With Auburn and Georgia meeting on the football field for the millionth time this Saturday, in the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry, I’d like to get a couple of things off of my chest.

There are factions of Auburn fans that would like to drop a very specific four-letter word in front of Georgia’s name, and I’ll admit, there have been times that I agreed with them. There are other factions of fans that remember the good old days, the glorious sun-filled hours of a friendly rivalry. We were the friends that people assumed were brothers. We shared everything. People even thought that we lived in Georgia’s house, we were so close in the neighborhood.

We traded coaches like baseball cards, and some of Auburn’s best players ever have come from across the eastern border of Alabama.

So, why the hatred?

Georgia’s mad that Auburn noogied them right out of the womb, but that was way back in 1892. They’re jealous that we’ve got a more recent national title, and that they can’t chant ‘1957’ at us when their most recent championship is older than Ronald Reagan’s presidency. Mostly, they’re mad that we knocked around one of their quarterbacks a couple times almost a decade ago.

Maybe it’s due to Aaron Murray’s helicopter mom, and a poorly cobbled together video of Auburn’s dirty plays — watch this and try not to laugh —

If Youtube user “CFBTruth” (pictured below talking about Nick Fairley/Cam Newton)... still around, I hope he’s okay. He seems to have some real problems, his being a Georgia fan as the gravest of those issues. He’s mad that Cam Newton appeared to blow kisses at the Bulldog defense. To be honest, that’s just nice manners. Cam is a fancy boy that knows how high society works.

They’re also mad at certain things that Auburn does, but... I just... don’t understand. From the linked article above —

Auburn’s shaker fetish is the worst of any team in America.


In fact, I would argue that Georgia’s BDSM/roleplaying fetish is a far more alarming hobby...

SEC Championship - Auburn v Georgia Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Georgia fans are the brother that’s mad that we broke one of their toys (Aaron Murray), but dad came along and glued it back together, and you had three more good years out of it. We were probably just trying to get back at them for permanently breaking Jimmy Brumbaugh more than a decade earlier. Thank you, Hines Ward, that was a one-of-a-kind collectible.

You’d think fans of a team and a state that’s been hurt as much as Georgia would have no way to feel pain. Atlanta literally burned down once, and then the Bulldogs let it happen again each of the last two years when they played Alabama in the Benz. Why are they still so mad? Your coach is recognized as one of the top minds and recruiters in the game, you’ve got more talent on your roster than literally anyone, and you’re now in the College Football Playoff top four. When Auburn points to the 2010 national championship, Georgia probably should be able to point to 2012 and 2017, but you guys puckered up against Alabama... and personally, I was pulling for you each time. Joke’s on me?

Everything that Georgia claims has happened to sour the bonds in this rivalry have been done both ways. “aUbUrN fAnS lIkE tHeIr ShAkErS tOo MuCh”


It’s funny when you’re not surrounded by an angry shaker-wielding mob barking at you, but then again, maybe I’m not tough enough to hit up the continental breakfast buffet at the HoJo on Broad Street in Athens.

There are plenty of things to like about Georgia and Athens, but I don’t know if the old, flexing, second-story dance floor at 9d’s Bar gives me quite enough of a euphoric jolt to erase the nastiness in this rivalry.

In the end, Auburn and Georgia are brothers that have grown apart. They’re a pitiful bunch, but one that always provides some entertainment. That’s a positive. Maybe it’s time for the relationship to get sewn back together. Who’s up to the task of doing that?

Not us.

See you Saturday. War Eagle.