Have you ever been at a social event, let’s say a school fall festival, and you would do just about anything short of smothering a healthy baby to get away from it? Welcome to this Monday. However, as you sarcastically work your way through the awful booths and cake baking contest that make you want to run through that glass that has the wire in it, you see a beverage booth…and you notice a glass bottle poorly hidden under a table cloth. You make your way over to it and begin to talk to the parents manning the ‘booth’. Before you know it, you have a drunk Arnold Palmer and you realize that you are going to be ok. I’m Drew McCracken and this is the Roasted…let’s get to business.
LSU AND OLE MISS HAD THEMSELVES A BIG XII GAME!!!
Let’s just dive in to these highlights.
SWEET LORD!!! This game should have had a southern belle in all her regalia falling over from the vapors with that lack of defense! For you folks that don’t want to math, this SEC football game saw 1,300+ yards of offense in a 60-minute football game. Credit to Ole Miss as they fought back from down 28-0 and was actually within a score late in this one but, WOOOOOO buddy, as much defense as we saw in Jordan-Hare Stadium Saturday afternoon, we saw where all the offense was directed. I will go ahead and say this right now, LSU’s defense will cost them a National Title. As I say that though, you better have a salty defense that can get pressure or else you are done before the game begins. Just ask Texas…
DON’T MOVE…DON’T MOVE! AW, YA MOVED!
Remember when this happened at the Sugar Bowl last year?
After the loss to Iowa State Texas has lost 5 of their last 12 pic.twitter.com/02xvsEs8aQ— Bennie Jennings (@volblood) November 17, 2019
It was a claim that looked pretty strong after they DOMINATED Georgia in every phase of the game, but…this season could have gone better. Entering Saturday Texas looked more like they were BAAAAAACK from looking that dominate team in one bowl game, to the team we’ve seen every season for the last decade or so, with a strong 6-3 record (losses to LSU, Oklahoma and a feisty TCU team). Not terrible but not as good as Horns fans were thinking BAAAAAAACCCCKKKK would mean. Well, a trip to Ames, Iowa is enough to run any Longhorn’s fan blood cold in that decade and Saturday was no different. The Clones and the Horns tussled back and forth with the Horns holding a 1 point lead with just 4 seconds left on the clock. Iowa State lined up for a 42 yard field goal that would end up being no good but was bailed out by Texas being offsides. I did all I could to find video of that but Longhorn boosters did a good job of sweeping the net to make sure we don’t have the evidence.
They couldn’t get rid of this though…
“ICE IN THOSE VEINS!”— CFB Kings (@CFBKings) November 17, 2019
Iowa State upsets #19 Texas 23-21 in walk-off 36-yard field goal!#TEXvsISU pic.twitter.com/wdFVop581B
How about that! Who was the young man that punched through the kick that counted??
Iowa State just gave Texas the ol’ AssAlley. #IowaState #CyclONEnation #hookem #texaslonghorns #football pic.twitter.com/0UmRhGhucK— Rupert X (@RealRupertX) November 17, 2019
Oh…I’m not sure we can say that one…
There are no jokes needed because Tom Herman did my work for me.
Head coach Tom Herman after the game: “Our line jumping offsides on that field goal is the worst decision any member of the Texas football program has ever made involving Iowa State.” pic.twitter.com/wz6MYh4mLJ— CycloneCNN (@CycloneCNN) November 17, 2019
DAMN IT TOM! Don’t you dare take my job! You aren’t that good at your current one so what makes you think you can do a weekly review of college football sadness!
No matter how you put it, a 6-4 Texas team is BAAAAAACCCKKK in the middle of a meh Big XII and that makes things warm in Austin. Not ready to put Tommy Boy on the Watch…but it’s coming….
Have a great week everyone. It will get better...I pray.