With the selection of wonderful food you’re probably going to be getting your hands on later today, we thought that it would be a good idea to put together a sampler of another kind of cooking as well. Enjoy your Iron Bowl Thanksgiving Menu —
TURKEY - THE CAMBACK
Slow cooked, disastrous if taken out of the oven too early, but once you put in the time and wait until the end, it can be perfect. Just like if we’d decided to cut bait in the middle of the second quarter in Tuscaloosa in 2010. Let the chef get in the kitchen and work his magic. Sometimes the prep work ain’t pretty, but the end result is succulent.
GRAVY - BO OVER THE TOP
In Pat Dye’s second Iron Bowl, he beat Alabama with a freshman running back from Bessemer. The win broke a nine-year losing streak, but the real gravy was that Bear Bryant went out a loser in the Iron Bowl.
MASHED POTATOES - THE FIRST ONE
Are mashed potatoes and gravy like the OG sides? I have to think that there’s a large proportion of people that think of Thanksgiving side dishes and zero in on mashed potatoes first.
ROLLS - FEAR THE THUMB
You can’t have just one, and the spread may include dinner rolls, crescent rolls, cornbread, whatever. So instead of plopping a single, solitary piece of bread onto your plate, you go for like... six (or eleven).
STUFFING/DRESSING - PUNT BAMA PUNT
Stuffing and dressing are definitely two separate things, yet many people confuse them. Sometimes it appears as if they’re one and the same, but they are indeed different. You can have both, and they do both count, no matter how similar they actually are. It’s as if you block two punts within moments of each other and run both back for touchdowns, with the same guys involved in both plays.
CRANBERRY SAUCE - YES, YES, YES AUBURN, YES!
It’s the one that you didn’t know you needed. Some people don’t like it (they must be bammers, thinking Curtis Brown had that ball), but to others, it complements everything else just right.
GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE - GO BO GO
You know when your plate is pretty full and you don’t really have room for something else but you cram it on anyway? Personally, green bean casserole is fantastic, but there are many who just leave it for last, because it’s green. A full plate is like an already-clinched SEC title, and green bean casserole’s just an add-on in the form of an Iron Bowl win.
SWEET POTATOES - ELEVEN. AND. OH.
Look, you have mashed potatoes already. They’re gonna go great with gravy, it’s fine. Get a little bite with your turkey, dressing, whatever. You’re already ahead. But wait, what’s this? You have a different potato dish? And this one comes with marshmallows toasted on top, effectively turning this into a dessert that you eat with the rest of your main course? It’s the hammer touchdown after a Pat Nix miracle.
POST DINNER NAP/PUMPKIN PIE - ED SCISSUM/JARRETT HOLMES
You’ve already eaten a really good meal, but maybe you went too far. Things aren’t looking good. You’re full. You’re miserable. Your pants are begging for mercy. There’s an uncle who wants to corner you and talk your ear off. Aunt Karen is asking about your new significant other. The mere thought of talking seems like a task. So you take a nap instead, and when you wake up, the smell of the coffee pot and a slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream greets you. What was bad seemingly moments earlier now brings joy.
POST THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS - THE KICK SIX
It’s just another Thanksgiving dinner all over again, but maybe you can pile it all onto some sort of a sandwich (complete with moist-maker) and enjoy it again after the big event. It’s almost like beating Georgia on the craziest play ever and then getting to do it to Alabama after a little breather.
Pace yourselves, people. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.