TWO AND OH baybeeee! Sure there were some hiccups last week, but by golly did that defense make things difficult for Tulane. You already knew that was going to happen, though, because you are smart and read this weekly column. You’re so smart and are going to totally vote for this weekly column as your favorite weekly column on this web page when we have the end-of-year awards. Still, being smart doesn’t make us impervious to nerves. Sometimes even a MAC team coming to mighty Jordan-Hare can make us shake a bit. We need to be sure we are going to win this game, especially if we are trying to wager legally on its outcome (not that I do that, but I live to serve you, dear reader).
We need to spin
Down into the past
A feeling that lasts
The Devil’s Hole Massacre
On September 13, 1763, a band of around 300 Seneca warriors ambushed a wagon train outside of Niagra Gorge in present day New York State. It didn’t go well for the wagon train. Then the Seneca, led by Chief Pontiac, made their way toward a camp near Lewiston where a detachment of the British 80th Regiment of Light Armed Foot were staying. Two companies of the 80th heard of the wagon train’s demise and rushed to its aid.
Did those British soldiers stand a chance?
No, friend, they super didn’t. The Native Americans lost around 1 soldier compared to the nearly 100 lost by the British that day. Some reports have the Seneca losing no one and their combatants losing everyone to a man. This was a massacre in every since of the word. The Seneca set the trap by ambushing the wagon train, then engaged the soldiers who came to fight them all the while closing off the area the soldiers might use as an escape route. The Seneca knew the terrain, and were really in a bad mood due to the incessant encroachment on their land by the British.
There aren’t a ton of cases of the Native People’s of this countries winning decisive victories in battles against European Militaries, but the ones that happened...hoo boy. The Seneca would remain in control of this land until after the United States became a country and decided it needed to stretch its legs a bit. No matter the endgame, the Devil’s Hole Massacre was an example of one day where the group with more people and more resources just decimated a smaller group who was unwelcome on their land.
Auburn v. Kent State
On September 14, 2019, Auburn will host the Kent State Golden Flashes at 251 S Donahue Dr in Auburn, AL at 6pm. You can watch this game, in which the Tigers are 35 point favorites, on ESPN2. This one is not going to be close.
The Tiger defense will ambush a feckless Kent State offense early, and then when Kent State tries to rally to stop Auburn’s offense it will find itself trampled. Kent State would lose by 35 to Tulane or Oregon on Saturday night, and Auburn beat both of those teams already this year. Remember, Auburn has the best resume in America so far this season. There will be nowhere for Kent State’s runningbacks to hide from Derrick Brown, nowhere for the receivers to run against Noah Igbinoghene and the Auburn secondary. I will be shocked if the Flashes have more than two scoring drives Saturday.
The Seneca demolished the 80th regiment, and their leader was Pontiac. There was once a car called the Firebird Trans Am made by Pontiac. It was driven in a movie called Smokey and the Bandit. That movie is known as the Greatest Film Ever Made. What does any of this have to do with Auburn, Crow?
Sally Field wore an Auburn shirt on set of Smokey and the Bandit. Tigers by a boatload.