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BOOM! Roasted!: Week 3

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Remember when you were excited for the College Football season? It was a time filled with so much hope…so much promise for the upcoming season. Then Week 3 arrived. Like the unwanted new aunt your uncle Kenny met on that singles cruise. Sure, she’s ok, but there’s something about that tattoo of Jessica Rabbit on her forearm that gives you a moment of pause. However, there are some redeeming qualities that the week and we have framed them here in the Roasted!

YOU WILL STOP AT ELEVEN…TWELVE IS RIGHT OUT

When the schedule comes out, I always like to look for fun intersectional matchups that don’t include SEC teams (mainly because those are always fun). The Arizona State-Michigan State game stuck out to me mainly because of the two coaches in this game. Herm Edwards vs Mark Dantonio? Wow…that’s a Dinner for 3 that I want to be apart of for the shear awkwardness of it! So to the game, Michigan State’s offense was exactly that and only scratched a touchdown, while Zona State did just a little bit more, getting a FG followed by a touchdown to take a 10-7 lead deep into the 4th quarter. MSU did march the ball down for a field goal attempt as their kicker was called upon…

Ok, that doesn’t give me a whole lot of confidence…but can he kick???

YES HE CAN! OVERTIME HERE WE COME! What’s that now? 12 men on the field? ON A FIELD GOAL?! Oh well, he did it once, he can do it again.

Wow….so Herm Edwards just out Mark Dantonio’ed Mark Dantonio…

That’s some hurt in that photo…

Not sure what that look is but yup, have fun in the EL tonight brauh.

EL ASSICO NEVER DISAPPOINTS

This is one of my favorite games of the year. It’s got everything you really want, state bragging rights, a lot of hate, and two teams that are good, but if you lost to them you would be crushed and POed at your team cause you shouldn’t lose to them. This game was a little different though because there was not one…

BUT TWO! WEATHER DELAYS!!! And during the second one, the students decided to make it an Iowa version of Woodstock on the field.

Well that looks like fun. I can just imagine this happening in the SEC. There would be snipers taking people out left and right. As you can tell, however, that field took a ton of rain and it make for some rough footing.

I love sloppy football, especially in El Assico. So let’s fast forward to the good stuff. Iowa leads 18-17 with 1:30ish to go in the 4th and they have to punt it back to the Cyclones. Let’s see how that went.

You aren’t wrong to laugh. LET’S GET A REPLAY!

I know he’s blocking but WHAT IN THE WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS ARE YOU DOING!?! You know where the receiver is, but know you don’t need to get in his way. It’s on him to call a fair catch but you can’t get that penalty on yourself! Iowa would recover and run out the clock in a game that lived up to its title…EL ASSICO!!

TAGGART WATCH 2019: HOO ARE YOU

After last week’s thrilling 45-44 win over Sun Belt power Louisiana-Monroe, the Noles looked to take their show on the road and get their second win in a row, and sweet Lou Brown all taught us what that is…

And going to the 4th quarter (stop me if you’ve heard that before with this FSU squad) things seemed to be going ok as the Noles held a 17-10 lead over the 25th ranked Hoos. However, things quickly unraveled. Virginia would score 19 points in the 4th and would need a 2 point conversion to take a 7 point lead with 2:30ish left in the game. So let’s see how that went.

Ok, so…wow. Tackling still needs to be worked on a bit. Ok, but James Blackman would lead the Noles down the field with just a few seconds remaining. Maybe a few less than they actually should have because the OFFICALS DIDN’T STOP THE CLOCK PROPERLY!

You have a few jobs as an official, but making sure that the clock is stopped on time is one of the main ones. However, FSU said, NBD brauh, we still gonna run a play. Here is a video of the last 2 plays just to absorb it in all of its hilarious glory.

So there is that, but oh no dear reader, we are not done with this nonsensical game, as the party was just getting started for the UVA students.

WHERE ARE THE SECURITY GUARDS!?! Maybe they didn’t think they had to guard the field since this is the worst football team FSU has put out since the 1950s and Virginia was ranked and the favorite to win the game. I get that they haven’t been relevant since the first Bush was in the White House but dang it man, you’ve won a baseball national title, and been given another in basketball, cause you definitely didn’t ‘win’ that one. Act like you’ve done things before. Turrible.

HONORABLE MENTION

K State vs Mississippi State

Only because I want to include this video…

Good Lord….