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BOOM! Roasted! - Week Two

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Week Two of the college football season is the most dangerous in my opinion. For some, the results from Week One are so good that almost any result will give you moment for pause going to Week Two. While others, well others get the crushing reality confirmed that they are a sad sack of bad football teams. The latter is what we like to focus on here are the Roasted and luckily, we have corralled those lonesome cowpokes in a proverbial circling of the wagons we call, the BOOM! Roasted!

ROCKY BOTTOM

Did anyone have a worse Week One than the Tennessee Vols? First, Monty loses the Smokey Skipper to the bottom of the Tennessee River and Monty didn’t think it could get any worse. The Vol Football team said, “Hold my PBR bro.” and proceeded to take an apathetic dumb on the field and fell to the Georgia State Panthers. Well, at least its in the past right? Wrong, as throughout last week, this was driving up and down Peachtree Street in Atlanta…

Ok, so that isn’t optimal for the Vols, but hey, new week, new opportunity to impress right??

Well…it didn’t start off well as the Cougars didn’t want any of Tennessee’s equipment to get tripped over during play…

It’s just courteous too keep a clean field. Joseph Smith would be proud of you sir.

As far as the game went, Tennessee actually played well and held a 16-13 lead with less than 30 seconds to go and the Cougs were inside their own 20 yard line, but that didn’t mean the game was over by any means…

That would lead to a FG with 5 seconds left and then Overtime.

Both teams would score TDs in the first overtime, followed by a 3 and out FG from Tennessee, who took the 26-23 lead…but that wasn’t safe for long.

Which was immediately followed by

And…

We all remember this graph from last week but man…how sad funny is it this week.

The truly sad part about this is, I really haven’t made a joke yet and you are still giggling about how bad this is. That’s because it is. Tennessee is 0-2 for the first time since 1988….1988!!! Our own Ryan Sterritt needs to have things that old explained to him like he is a 2nd grader! The worst part about that is, Tennessee has been made for a decade AND THEY’VE NEVER BEEN THIS BAD TO BE 0-2 ON THE YEAR!!!

TAGGART WATCH 2019: COMPLETELY HYDRATED

Last week, Coach Taggart questioned if the Noles had been properly hydrated and that may have contributed to the loss. So…a team from the state of Florida, was playing at home in Florida, against a team from Idaho, and played in the same weather conditions as the opposing team….Ok there coach.

Obviously the fans were paying attention to coach’s comments and realized they weren’t hydrated enough for Saturday and just stayed home.

Anywho, the Noles looked to bounce back against Louisiana-Monroe and had just one phrase in mind.

Well, just like last week, it looked like FSU had found itself and raced out to a 24-7 lead at the half. However, just 12 minutes of game time later…

OUCH!

OUUUUUCH! That whole segment of video is just an awful look no matter who you are!

This forced FSU into an…untraditional formation to try and befuddle the Warhawks…

You aren’t wrong. LET’S DIVE IN FOR A BETTER LOOK!

Remember a few years ago when a wideout faked a heart attack as apart of a play? Well, dang nab it if those sneaky Noles didn’t find a way to one up it! Looks like we are gonna have to reset the X-Box 360 cause NCAA 14 has that glitch again!

In the end, the game would go to overtime and FSU would need a ULM missed extra point or we might still be playing. To say that Coach Willie’s seat is hot is an understatement as he has reach scorching levels of 3rd degree burn. Next week, the Noles travel to Charlottesville for a matchup against the Whoos…and boy will that be fun.

NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER MIDNIGHT

If there are two things Auburn fans know, it’s the PAC-12 conference race and rain delays. Ok, maybe not the PAC-12 race but we do know the Huskies of Washington. Last year’s season opening opponent, had a solid year and ended up winning the PAC-12 championship. This year Jacob Eason (the former Georgia Bulldog) takes over under center and everything looked good after Week One as the Huskies downed Eastern Washington with ease as they prepared for the conference opener against Cal. Well Mother Nature wanted them to wait a bit.

I am an unofficial expert after this week, following a hurricane and all and that doesn’t seem good, but I mean it could just be a radar blip.

Ok so not a radar blip…that looks rough. After a lengthy delay, they decided to start back up at 10:30 local time. That means 12:30 real folks time and they were midway through the 1st half!

As for the game, it was really sloppy as you could imagine with Washington only scoring one TD on the night but coupled that with four Field Goals to take a late 19-17 lead with just 2 minutes left to play in the game. The Huskie D couldn’t stop Cal though and that set up this.

That happened at 2:22 am Pacific Time. 4:22 am Central time.

I can just imagine a pastor waking up for church and somehow left it on FS1 after watching the LSU-Texas sprint, and thinking that this was a replay of the Washington-Cal game…nope, that’s live my friend. Pac-12 After Dark has started off strong again friends, and we are only in week two!