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Boom! Roasted! - Week 3ish

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Welcome back to the House of Pain otherwise affectionately known as The Roasted. This week was a bit of a challenge, but in these challenging times, what’s new? There really weren’t any overt moments of hilarity, however, we here at the Roasted persevered, fielded the snap cleanly, and killed the clock, without need of an overly excited ref’s whistle (or whistle finger…I’m not quite sure) and found some things to make ourselves feel better about…ourselves. WITH THAT SAID, let’s get down to business!

THE WORLD’S LARGEST DEFENSE OPTIONAL PARTY!

Incase you didn’t know, Oklahoma and Texas played this last week in what was once called the Red River Shootout before the word Shootout was too controversial and they changed it to Rivalry which if that doesn’t say something, I don’t know what does. UO (cause it’s the University of Oklahoma, ya nubes) came in to this one riding a two game losing streak while Texas dropped last week’s barn burner to a team they have only beaten once since 2014 (see Gus! You do have company!), the TCU Horned Frogs. So to say this was a Need to Win for both teams was an understatement.

After some real inconsistent play on both sides (mainly UO)…

The Sooners surged ahead midway through the 4th

The Horns however would tie up the game with two late touchdowns to push the 2020 version of El Assico (sorry Iowa State and Iowa, but this game gets the moniker for this year and this year only) to Overtime. We would actually go to a 3rd overtime where Dicker the Kicker would miss for Texas and give UO a chance to salt this one away…finally….

YOU HAVE ONE JOB!!! So to a 4th OT we go. To the surprise of no one at all, UO would score to make it 53-45. And that would lead to Sam Ellinger having to do football things, which he is hit and miss on…

And also led to this fannntastic taunt by UO.

Here is the play incase you just need to see it with some other plays from the game.

So, what does it all mean? It means that The Big XII standings are just wonderfully absurd.

This also means that Texas is, once again, not back while UO needs to pray to the football God’s above that Okie State stays undefeated and it wouldn’t hurt if Baylor stayed real good or else the Big 12 is probably out as a Playoff team. I say probably because…2020.

AHHH! MY LITTLE RUSSIAN LADY!

Ok, so don’t get me wrong. I wear my mask, I do what the smart doctors tell me because, I am not a smart doctor and I want football so, I wear a mask, or the gator or something. We’ve seen the Face Shield work to perfection

Getty Images

We’ve even seen coach’s go risqué with some nice sheer face masks to show off what they’ve got cooking under there.

AP

But…what Jeremy Pruitt came out with this week was a combo of freaked out tin foil hat wearers and Aunt Bee’s Eastern European cousin.

Ok, that’s enough. When I saw that last picture, I was sure that Philip Fulmer had killed Pruitt and just wanted to coach this game. So he dropped a few donuts and this was how he was going to illude detection until the end of the game when he ripped off his mask Scooby Doo style and revealed it was him the whole time!

Thanks Coach.

BUT THEY WERE PUNTING FROM THE 50!?!

Mississippi State has been an interesting case study this 2020 season. They go out and beat a bad LSU team and then end Arkansas’s 18 game conference losing streak for them and now stare down games against Kentucky, A&M and then uat before they hit the month of November, so to say this was a must win is a bit more of a soft statement.

Well, here, in its entirety, is the Mississippi State scoring play.

Yup…that was it. Which is enough for you to win a ball game, but not when the other team scores 24 points. So, since Bo Pelini showed everyone that you can’t play Moo State with man coverage the whole game, State’s offense has scored 14 points. 16 if you want to mention the punt that went from the Kentucky 48 to the goal line for an own goal.


What else did I miss after pounding my Toomer’s Door drink this Saturday? For those scoring at home, that’s a 3 oz pour of Heaven’s Door with Lemonade over it, very tasty, highly recommended.

Feel free to comment below.