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Boom! Roasted!! - Week 9

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There are little signs here and there that things are starting to get back to normal. For a while there, things were going off the rails. We’ve been in quarantine for almost nine months, we are being advised by people in the know to skip big holiday gatherings this year so that we can have them normally next year, and experts have created a vaccinee to cure all this in those nine months, which is unreal. This weirdness started a few years ago though, in fact it started on October 13th 2018. That day Jarrett Guarantano went 21/32 throwing for 328 yards and two TDs and leading Tennessee to a victory in Jordan-Hare Stadium 30-24, Tennessee’s first win over Auburn since 1999. Guarantano playing like an actual SEC QB to be feared and Tennessee beating Auburn…freaking weird.

Well, thank the good Lord above that Auburn showed Saturday night that things are starting to get back to normal. My dad use to tell me a story when he was on the Plains of how former Miss Oklahoma and Florida Citrus Ambassador Anita Bryant came to Auburn in 1972 and spoke at a pep rally before the Auburn-Tennessee game in Birmingham that year.

Why you ask? Well, Ms Bryant spoke on the virtues of having good Vitamin C in your life is good for your health and to let the crowd know, “That nothing sucks like a Big Orange.” I agree Ms Bryant. I agree.

With that said, Let’s get to the Roasted!

YOU CAN TELL THEY HAD BEEN WAITING FOR THAT

Prior to the season, not much was expected for Illinois…hell, not much still is. That said, the Fighting Illini came out like a ball of fire against Nebraska, who was freaking fired up to play this season, demanding that they needed to play ball so bad that they might leave the Big 10 and join who ever wanted to go! They got their wish and boy its not been a good look for the 1-2 Huskers so far, even if that one win was against STILL WINLESS Penn State (AHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHA). So let’s check in on how that was going for Nebraska.

There’s just so much there. The black unis, that I had to check with two times to make sure that it actually was Nebraska. Who the hell is the punter juking? It looks like the first time you picked up a controller on NCAA Football and you are figuring out what each button does. And finally, how the hell is Illinois up 28-10 on Nebraska at any point in life? The Fighting Illini twitter machine made sure there was plenty of salt in that open wound at the end of the game.

It was later deleted, which BOO! If ya gonna say it, then SAY IT WITH YA CHEST!!

However, DAMN that was some solid shade with feeling behind it! I will give you a half point Illinois, you would have gotten full credit if ya left it. I mean what are you worried about, Nebraska using that as motivation against you the next time you play?? They broke out the black jerseys on you and still lost 41-23. I think you’re safe.

ON THE UNDERTAKER’S 30th ANNIVERSARY NO LESS

The biggest game of the weekend (if you listen to the Mothership that is ESPN) was a ‘rivalry’ called ‘Bedlam’ between Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. I put quotations around those words because a series that has a current record of 89-18-7 in favor of the Sooners, isn’t a rivalry, it’s an asswhipping. Oklahoma has now won 5 in a row, which sounds impressive, till you find out that OU has won 19 in a row in this series. The Cowboy’s longest streak? Two. Which isn’t a streak, that’s just two in a row, Sweet Lou Brown taught me that.

Except it hasn’t coach…they’ve never gotten to three wins in a row. The saddest part of this, and something I could make a freaking Dateline episode on, is that people want to believe that things may change, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Thus, I introduce you to Tyler. Tyler is a Cowpoke fan, and was sure that OSU would get illusive win number 19 over OU. He was wrong…very wrong of course but went to twitter with an oldie but a goodie.

While we can all laugh at the statement, just let the frustration of that tweet wash over you…and then as that frustration turns into acceptance of what you are, not good.

Speaking of not good…

Yeah….Rutgers took Michigan to 3!!!! Overtimes before falling to the Maze-n-Blue 48-42. That’s all I have to say about it…because that’s joke enough and you need to be made aware that it actually happened in the world we live in.

THAT STOLE THE LAST SPOT

So normally I leave the last spot for something I find on the net that even I missed during Saturday but found and think it could be funny.

Last night, I had Georgia breaking out the black jerseys for Moo State and then almost blowing the game anyway, which, that still needs to be mentioned.

Also, can we talk about how the bulldog logo on the side sleeve is just the worst? Put the G on the side. OR, even better, put the 80’s bulldog logo on the side! You know, the one with the frat pledge cap on.

YEEEEAAAH! That’s the one! That one looks muuuuch better that the mug shot that....Georgia.....Ooooooh, I get it now...mug shot....Georgia players....nevermind, I see what they did there.

But I found this and man, this is good.

I want to believe that this started with Auburn putting the Eagle on the Jay-bo-tron when an opposing kicker lines up for a Field Goal.

But then, Oklahoma State took it to another level earlier this year when they played Texas.

Minnesota, however, has won the game with this one. The Gophers were playing Purdon’t Friday night and damn it if they didn’t win it because of this.

Yeah, the Gopher actually worked!! Minnesota won 34-31 over the Boilermakers and that is just beautiful!

So what did you guys see that I missed? Feel free to comment below, and welcome to hate uat week….like we don’t hate uat all damn year.