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BOOM! Roasted! Week 10: Cancelled Pressers

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Well that wasn’t fun. So let’s just flush that…juuuust flush it, because guess what, some folks had MUUUUUCH worse weekends than you did. And, since you clicked on the link and the fun photo that this article holds, you already know that. So let’s dive in and laugh again. Let’s get Roasted.

BUT CANCELLING MEDIA AVAILIBITY WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP

It’s been a long week for Dan Mullen, first there was this little moment in his weekly presser.

Sure, I know he doesn’t want to talk about recruiting since he can’t go off campus due to NCAA sanctions but as @AUNerd will tell you, it’s always recruiting time in the SEC PAWWWL!

So after that, Mullen decided the correct course of action would be not to expound on his recruiting answer but go total 2nd grader and tell everyone “I’M NOT SPEAKING TO YOU CAUSE YOU ARE MEAN!”

Just for the record, that teleconference is mandated by the Conference so Dan isn’t throwing anyone a bone or anything.

During that teleconference, someone asked Dan-o what the point of pulling players availability was:

Solid answer worked up by the Florida PR Department. With that, there was no more news about Florida football….until Saturday.

First off, ‘member how last week when Auburn played Ole Miss at night and everyone was like, man what an atmosphere? Yeah….that wasn’t Columbia Saturday night.

That brutal atmosphere, though, definitely did something to the focus that the Gators had built up in the week prior as it did not take long for Carolina to take control

Let’s flash forward to 23-10…

Let’s go to Dan for comment…

Solid Dan….solid.

It didn’t get better for Florida….at all.

Normally I don’t listen to Georgia fans much…mostly because they are barking and I use my words like a big boy. But this one spit the crap out of his mouth and actually spoke some sense that he was P-R-A-Y-I-N-G he could use Saturday night.

In the most recent development Todd Grantham and Florida’s O-Line coach have been told that they don’t have plans on Saturday’s anymore as a sacrifice to the heathen Football Gods.

I can just see Dan in his office, with his color crayons and his Albert and Alberta Coloring Book for Big Kids and the Football SID comes in to get him for the weekly presser today.

“Dan, its time for the presser”

“NO! I FIRED GRUMPY FACE! That’s enough!”

“Dan…you have to announce it to the public”

“You do it, I’m busy….recruiting.” *picks up phone…presses number….starts talking to no one*

*sigh* “I wonder if this is what LSU’s SID had to do for the last 2 years”

IN THE B1G IT JUST…MEANS…SOMETHING

So in case you missed it, and do not bash yourself if you did because you definitely should have, it was A WEEK in the B1G…especially in the West. We start our tour in Minneapolis where the Gophers took on BERT and the Fighting Illini. The Gophers had only lost 1 game in the conference (Ohio State) so they controlled their own destiny to Row that Boat all the way to Indy and the Conference title game if they just took care of their own business. Did I just say take care of business and BERT in consecutive sentences? Yup….yeah I did….and you know where this is going.

WHAT IN THE?! Who taught BERT how to throw the ball! That will get the players winded and cause more injuries?!

DOMINATE! However, that’s by a D-lineman. To get really in their head, the taunt has to come from a guy that they don’t expect…

AND THERE IT IS!

Just for the record, here was the percentage line for the game.

That’s some BERTY actions right there.

From there we go to West Lafayette where Michigan State took on *gulp* Purdue. I feel like if you are a ranked team the week you play Purdue, you should just refuse the ranking. “We skip this week’s ranking and have decided to go unranked.” It is at least a tactic that would have worked better than anything Green tried on Saturday cause…it was all Drew Brees’ this weekend.

The best part of Purdue this weekend was, they didn’t say, “Oh crap…we are in this game we might win.” Nope, they went bobbing for Halloween apples in diesel fuel and then lit their hair on fire like a champion!

The saddest part of this game though, was, when State decided to try this throwing thing that Purdue was doing, it didn’t go well.

So down goes #3

Ohio State also had a rough go of it, but escaped Lincoln with the W. I only bring this up to show you the saddest FG I have seen in a long time.

Even Gus Johnson was deflated after that layup bounced off under the back board glass.

So, stop me if you’ve heard this, Ohio State is the last best hope for the B1G. Yes, Michigan is still in it with a win over tOSU, but….are you trusting this guy with that kind of power?

Didn’t think so.

NO APOLOGY NECESSARY

If you are a dedicated reader to this fun little thing we do, you know how much I love Ole Miss FB twitter along with Piggy FB twitter. Ole Miss started all this so they are my first love to be completely honest. This weekend the Rebs looked to bounce back after the Auburn loss and did so with a commanding 27-14 win over Liberty and former Rebel leader Hugh Freeze. I kept hitting refresh on their page JUUUUUST hoping they would go hard and BOY DID THEY!!!

MMMMM That tasty shade…however, it got so much shadier…

But first, let’s do a little history lesson. Back before things got bad for ol Hugh, rumors of some improprieties around his program led him to send out a tweet asking the public at large to crap or get off the pot.

Come to find out…the rumors were correct and when combined with a burner phone for some ladies in Tampa, he found his way out of Oxford and over to Jerry Fallwell Jr for some rehabilitation…

Anywho, following the win, Reb Twitter decided to go with a STRONG remix.

BALL GAME!!!! We are done here!

The tweets were later deleted and an apology was issued by Ole Miss which is sort of sad because, while not the most tasteful thing to do…when was the last time Twitter was tastful? Also, Lane calling the posts classless…come on man…come on.


So what did I miss this weekend? There was a ton so feel free to post it below and we can all laugh together…I need to laugh…please make me laugh.

Until next week, hold your emotional support monkey close.