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BOOM! ROASTED! - Week 2: Did something happen in Tallahassee?

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I invited my parents up to visit my wife and I this weekend. That way, Dad and I could watch the ho-hum schedule and we could all sit up on the couch and watch the Auburn game. Well, did it ever turn out to be quite the Saturday and Football. Not only that, but it continued into the early Sunday morning hours, as we will get to! So, let’s get started and get Roasted.

THE B1G IS BACK BAY-BAY!

Man…this is the most I’ve ever talked about the B1G when not talking about Khaki Jesus…

DAMN IT! HOW DID HE KNOW???

…he always knows…

Anywho, Ohio State played in front of a sold out crowd of their home fans since November 23rd of 2019 and it was in a huge game against the Pac-12’s ‘best’ team, the Oregon Ducks. This was a brave move by the Bucks because with that much time off, you worry about ring rust and breaking back in to the normal routine of things. I mean, anything could go wrong. The yardage might be incorrect on the field…the PA system could go bad…

The band could do something completely embarrassing setting the tone for the entire day in the Horseshoe….

I think my favorite part of that is the second string Triangle Player that watches his fearless leader fall, realizes that he should be looking straight ahead…then turns to see if he’s limping or something and then goes back to stone facing it ahead. Don’t feel bad son…I woulda looked over too.

As for the game…it was more stumbling over themselves for the guys in red.

Yeah, they tell me that’s just not good. So a Pac-12 team went on the road and beat a Top 5 team for the first time since 1990 (ouch) and made Ohio State look very pedestrian in the process. Now, if there was just something else to put a bow on this one…a ‘cherry on top’ if you will.

Perfect…

THE HORNS ARE BACK BAY-BAY!

Don’t you love it when a coworker or someone has to do a task that you would normally do and you make it look so easy that they want to try it however, when they do, they almost cause a nuclear event. Meet the Texas Longhorns who, along with Oklahoma, will join the SEC in a few years. Welcome friends.

The Horns went on the road after a nice win (maybe) over Louisiana last week and traveled to everyone’s favorite weird cousin, the Arkansas Razorbacks. By now you know what happened as we found out that *shocked face* Sark isn’t as great of a coach as we thought when he doesn’t have NFL talent at every position on offense! WHO KNEW?!

It’s more so the aftermath that I want to dive in to as one of my favorite things happened Saturday Night, a team going full F-YOU to the team they just embarrassed.

MMMMMMMMM That is tasty. But it PAAAALES in comparison as to what Piggy Twitter was able to accomplish Saturday night.

Solid.

But then however, it went White Hot…

Sweet Baby Jesus yes. All of this…Yes.

HURRICANE KITTY!!!

Miami hosted App State down in Hard Rock Stadium this weekend and it was….a game….however, the real story was in the stands, as it always is at a home Miami game. Let’s just go to the video.

This is just beautiful because it is everything that Miami football should be. No one cares about the game, an American flag catching a falling cat, also, why is a cat in the stadium. Then, my man holds up the cat for the crowd like he’s damn Simba!

The Canes ended up winning of a late 4th down that App couldn’t convert so boo there but, at least the kitty is safe and everyone is healthy.


So that was it for Saturday and man was that a full day.

What’s that now? Something else happened? Ok, let me lo….oh my God. Ok, let me hit the music.

THE NOLES ARE BACK BAY-BAY!!!

Ok, ok….*takes a deep breath*

FSU really does have a feel good story this season with McKenzie Milton who is coming back from a NASTY knee injury back in 2018 and ALLLLLLMOST beat Notre Dame last Sunday night. They then turned around to face a team that Auburn fans know all too well in Jacksonville State. Now the Gamecocks of today are a touch different from the ones that went into Jordan-Hare back in 2015 but still shouldn’t be taken lightly, so I had hope that they would give the Noles a game. Going into the 4th quarter though, FSU had a 17-7 lead and I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be no miracles Saturday night, all the magic had been used in Fayetteville. That lead would hold till inside of 5 minutes, when Jacksonville State scored with 4:45 left to cut it to 17-14. Jacksonville State would end up getting the ball back with just over a minute to go inside their 20 yard line and would work it up to about their 40 with 6 seconds left. At this point, ESPN tells me that FSU had a 98.6% chance of winning the game. Have you ever wanted to see what 1.4% really looks like? LET’S GO TO WES DURHAM!!!

Solid call from the voice of the Falcons and one of the better people in the business, but I like a little home town flavor with my upsets.

Mmm that’s really good. But the Noles have one of the best story teller’s in the business with Gene Deckerhoff and his booth mate William Floyd.

Oh my Lord in heaven yes. That is some spectacular head set throwing by William there. However, it got worse for FSU…

OH MY….Oregon, I see your rubber duckie and raise you a spectacular Fortnite tea bagging.

There is good news for Nole fans though...love indeed conquers all.

Nothing is more romantic than getting out gained by an FCS opponent in your school’s first loss to a said FCS opponent IN THE HISTORY OF THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM (now 26-1). All of us here at College and Mag wish the happy couple well, and many years of doing things at the most awkward times imaginable.

I would have a lot more but Jacksonville State’s official twitter got suspended after the game.

Also, as of this writing, it is still suspended which is more bad ass than anything.

So that’s it for this week. What did I miss? Feel free to point and laugh below because this was a joyous week and we should bathe in this!

Until next week, make sure you don’t wear schmedium tee-shirts folks.