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NCAA won't investigate Auburn over Selena Roberts' roopstigo report

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Auburn's response to the allegations suited the NCAA just fine.

Todd Van Emst photo

To the dismay of Selena Roberts and legions of rival fans everywhere, the NCAA apparently won't investigate the allegations levied by a report on roopstigo.com last month.

Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs issued the university's response to the report a couple of weeks ago, combating each allegation point by point. With another potential instance of the Barn burnin' shot down, folks over at the Capstone Report and Tider Insider will have to go back to the drawing board. Surely, there's something they can pin on the Tigers, right?

That $cam Newton took money from Mississippi State boosters! Ah, no. The NCAA cleared Auburn of that, too.

Auburn changed Jovon Robinson's grades! Nope, nothing there.

Those thugs at Auburn were smoking spice like a bunch of thuggish chimneys! And Auburn covered it up! Not really. That may be the most laughable report of all.

Actually, no! It's Auburn that's a buncha racists! Exploiting those poor kids! Try again.

Don't worry, we're sure the NCAA will find something soon. Big Cat Weekend is coming up, so that'll probably generate a couple of secondary violations you can crow over. Until then, just keep yelling at your Internet.