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Wednesdays with (Oscar) Whiskey - Blurst Whiskey

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"It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?! You stupid monkey!"

Shanna Lockwood-USA TODAY Sports

Three plays. That's what Saturday's night game against Texas A&M came down to.

Three stupid plays.

In a game that we spent 222 minutes of our lives watching, the whole thing was decided in somewhere around 90 seconds.

Take away these three plays and the Aggies total yardage drops from 478 total yards to 298 total yards. If you apply the same stringent to Auburn and the Tigers finish the evening with 328 total yards.

You wipe off those three plays and the visitors only score 12 points on the night. Do the same for the home team again and Auburn still scores 16. Yep, that's right. Auburn couldn't even capitalize on their three biggest plays of the game.

I'm quite aware that is probably the worst way to look at this football game. However, I can't look away from at it as those three plays stare at me with that shit eatin' grin that only Aggies can display. The more and more you look at it, the more and more shit you find.

Trevor Knight was 20 of 40 on Saturday bringing his completion percentage to a whopping 52.9% for the season thus far. Sean White. Jeremy Johnson. Nick Marshall. Kiehl Frazier. Johnathan Wallace. Clint Moseley. Barrett Trotter. All of them. Every single one of them have/had better completion percentages than Trevor Knight does right now.

Trevor Knight threw the ball for 247 yards in his first SEC road game and I think you would be hard pressed to find any team in the league or any league for that matter, who would turn down that kind of production. Take away his two best passes, 50 and 41 yards respectively, and he does just as bad as Sean White and John Franklin III did in that same game.

The Aggies were also an atrocious 2 of 15 on third down. Against UCLA, they were 6 of 15. Their inability to convert to a fresh set of downs on Saturday has dropped TAMU to 106th nationally. Auburn, on the other hand, was 6 of 17 and sits at a semi-respectable 62nd nationally, which is also good for 7th in the league.

All of that, however, did not matter as Gus & Co. could not find a way to consistently respond to each opportunity that Kevin Steele's defense provided.

As far as the upcoming game against LSU goes, shit, I don't know. Leonard Founette is back and I would really not like a repeat of what he did in last year's match up down in Baton Rouge.  LSU has also seemed to settle on a signal caller in a quarterback who transferred from freakin' Purdue!

What I do know is that Auburn legend Dameyune Craig is standing on the Bayou Bengals sideline now. If you all recall, #FSUTwitter raised quite a stink about Craig stealing the Noles signals in the last BCSCG, which was their fault for not having the wherewithal that they might need to change them. This then led to Florida State staff and nearly every subsequent coaching staff to hold up towels and blue tarp around their offensive coordinators.

I hate the idea of Craig doing something like this against his alma mater, but just in case of such an instance, hopefully Malzahn and his staff are prepared to institute the Blue Tarp Protocol. If they aren't, hey Rhett, can you hold this up for me?