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BOOM! Roasted! - Week 13

Week 13 is historically known as a dud as teams get a week off or a cupcake before playing the biggest game on their schedule. And while most of you are still drying off from the blood feud that was Samford and Auburn, there were some actual solid matchups this Saturday, with Ohio State taking down Penn State to the surprise of no one and Georgia doing Georgia things and holding on to beat Texas A&M. Those, however, do not meet the criterial for the Roasted. We hold ourselves to higher regard and a higher standard, and there wasn’t much funny stuff that happened at those games. There were some funny things that happened at 3 or 4 games at the very least, so let’s get to it in this week’s Roasted!


Earlier this week, Vanderbilt Director of Athletics, Malcom Turner, came out to say that Derrick Mason would be back next year and that the university supports him through this tough season that has seen the Dore’s bring home two whole wins. That sort of message normally rallies the troops and gets the fans out to support the coaches and the players through this rough patch. So how’d that go for them you ask?

Ugh…admittingly, living in Nashville myself, it was not a fun day to be outside on Saturday. The Dores would get the win on Senior Day but the bad news is they go to Knoxville next week to take on an all the sudden hot Vols team. Even if they played in Nashville, it would be a pro Tennessee crowd but at least the number of fans would be cut almost in half at Vanderbilt Stadium.

MEANWHILE….IN BATON ROUGE, Arkansas started life after Chad Morris and it continued much like life with Chad Morris. LSU led 56-6 at one point before asking for volunteers from the crowd and Arkansas was able to add 2 TDs and backdoor covering the 42.5 point line. That didn’t do anything to dampen the celebration of gaining the Boot for another year!

Oh…well surely Coach O was all about celebrating bragging rights for another year over their neighbors to the north!

I mean, he’s not wrong…

It was good to see Arkansas fans were having a fun time in Death Valley though.

Sad on Piggies….Sad on.


Historically speaking, The Game is a game that everyone should watch. It was where Tailgating truly began and is one of the oldest rivalries in College Football, since ESPN wants to shove down our throats that it’s the 150th year of the sport of Kings (don’t get me wrong, if I get the History of the SEC series out of this deal, I will happily pay the piper for it). If you are looking for football prowess and NFL talent, then this game wouldn’t interest you and normally doesn’t interest many people except to see the final and then forget about it five minutes later. That would have been this year if it wasn’t for something that happened near the end of halftime.

HALFTIME LASTED NEARLY AN HOUR THANKS TO THIS KOMBI YA FEST! Don’t get me wrong, I think things should be done a little differently in regards to the climate and how we treat the Earth, but that doesn’t mean I am going to rush the field in a game at Harvard, Yale or Cal for that matter. I mean, what’s the end game here? To get the corporations to changes their ways, man? Ok brah, in that case, go and write your representatives (whatever good that will do) and pray that you annoy the person that opens his mail enough to show him what the people in his district think. Don’t punish the students playing the game or the parents and friends that care about those players in their biggest (and probably last for some) football game before they go in law or some dot-com company that runs the world and takes away from those harmful carbons you keep bitching about!

Ok, so after the game got back underway, it ended up going to double overtime and almost forced the game to be called a tie. Why is that, you may be asking. Well because Yale, one of the centerpieces of college’s in the United States…DOESN’T HAVE STADIUM LIGHTS!! WHAT IN THE WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS!?! I get that you want the game to be pure and played in the sunlight, but when sunset is at 4:30 Eastern in New Haven, you might need some extra light! I envision something like the end of Bagger Vance if this game were to keep going past the 2 overtime period, running more of those Fossil Fuels the students were protesting and really creating some fun irony. Fortunately, for everyone, Yale secured a share of the Ivy League title with a 50-43 win over the Crimson, thus securing another Blue victory over the Red. Here’s hoping Auburn can make sure the Blue team beats the Red team next weekend as well!


Ok, show of hands…who had this one? I didn’t…I should have knowing that Miami could barely score 20 points much less beat anyone by 20.

Alright, show of hands…who knew that Butch Davis was the Head Coach of FIU? Yeah, me either!

Ok ok, last one, who remembered that the Marlins Baseball Park (where this game was played just to rub salt in the wound for Miami) was built on top of where the old Orange Bowl, the one where Miami built their name, use to stand?

Yeah…all those things are true, and each one of them hurts Miami fans more and more as you say each one of them out loud.

At one point in this pillow fight, it was 16-0 FIU. 16-0!! Lord have mercy! If you are thinking, wow, losing as a double digit favorite isn’t something that happens often, you are correct. The Canes, however, have gotten that part of consistency down to be sure!

Sweet Lord! I don’t want to start Manny Watch just yet since he is only 10ish games into his career as the second best team in Dade County but there is one thing that a new head coach in a rebuilding situation can give and that’s hope.

I don’t know what on Earth this guy is dancing for down 13-0 to something called Florida International, but hope is not the thing that gives me if I am a fan of the U.