We all know that Christmas comes but once a year, and that the size of your loot haul depends on exactly how good you’ve been since last year. Santa’s always watching, and we must have eaten our vegetables, done our homework, helped mom around the house, and finished all of our chores. Let’s be honest, as an Auburn fan, 2019 was a pretty solid year.
Merry Christmas, looks like we all made it past Santa’s Clearinghouse once again. pic.twitter.com/B24qGUj3uR— college and magnolia (@CollegeAndMag) December 25, 2019
A banner year, indeed.
You know when you used to have the audacity to ask for multiple flagship presents? That year you wanted the Nintendo 64 AND the trampoline? Yeah, we did that this year, and Santa actually came through for us! Must’ve been a good sales year at dad’s company, and he must’ve hit that big bonus, because the space under the tree was lacking this morning, and the stockings were having trouble staying hung above the fireplace.
This was unboxing the Nintendo, four controllers, and several games all at once.
Auburn went to its first ever Final Four in basketball, and did it in the most satisfying way possible. As a five-seed, the Tigers destroyed Kansas and North Carolina in back to back games, then took down Kentucky. Auburn even beat the Wildcats without Chuma Okeke on the floor as he went down with an ACL injury in the domination over the Tar Heels. The Tigers came within an eyelash of playing for a national championship and had a first round draft pick for the first time in forever. That alone would make for a fantastic Christmas haul.
We weren’t done.
You finish unwrapping your obvious main gift and you’re basking in the glory, but your dad gets the glint in his eye of the Old Man from a Christmas Story when he gives Ralphie the Red Rider BB Gun.
“What did we leave over there?”
“Oh, uh, Santa Claus must’ve left it.”
In an all-timer of a dad move, your Old Man decided to supersede Mom’s direction, and he enlisted the neighbor’s help to hide the giant trampoline all week leading up to Christmas. You walk outside under the guise of taking out the leftover wrapping paper, and voila. Time to bounce around and nauseate yourself from Christmas candy left and right.
BUT WAIT. We’re going to Grandma’s for Christmas dinner tonight! More presents!
Just when you thought Grandma was a little out of touch, still getting you gifts like you were six, plus a healthy dose of underwear and socks, she decided to get a little guidance from someone younger and cooler.
IT CAN HOLD 1,000 SONGS.
Just when we thought the year was on the downslope, and maybe all of our wildest dreams had come true already, we got a bonus gift right at the end.
Remember going to sleep clutching your favorite gifts? Remember being the first kid to get something really special, and all of your friends were jealous and wanted to play with it? That was this Iron Bowl. The whole country saw us beat Alabama in yet another unbelievable way, and they all wanted to join in to help us celebrate.
But what was Christmas as a kid without a little healthy competition? You know there was always that one friend that seemed to get everything while you had to endure a mild disappointment year after year. 2019 was that year when you got everything on your list plus some, and that friend got the off-brand mp3 player, or the Sega Dreamcast. Or better yet, you got a Gameboy Color with Pokemon Yellow and your friend had to sit by and watch you play. Remember that feeling?
That was the Christmas of Christmases. Enjoy what we’ve been rewarded with this year, Auburn fans. It’s been a special year, and we need to be thankful for the good fortune that we’ve had bestowed upon us. Keep remembering to do your homework, eat right, and brush your teeth, and I bet Santa will keep on hitting our houses hard. War Eagle!