How was everyone’s….nevermind. Let’s just get to it because things happened this weekend and, damn it, we need to laugh at them!
THEY LOST TO ARKANSAS AND MOO STATE TO LULL US INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY PAWWWWL!
I will buy anyone who thought that A&M would be any closer than 10 points to alabama at the end of the game an ice cream cone the next time I see you. I know I didn’t. In fact, I had bama -22 in one of my bets…and before you say anything, yes it’s blood money and it still spends the same as non blood money thank you! Anywho, I got to pay to see bama lose and isn’t that the American dream? I know it was for me on Saturday night when this happened!
So that was sort of hard to see. You really need a smooth radio voice to tell you what happened. So let’s go to Eli for him to tell us exactly what happened.
As, uh, "called' on Alabama radio: pic.twitter.com/zZP4Unlfsn— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 10, 2021
So…they…made it? Obviously his mic got ripped from his ears and he couldn’t make the ‘It’s good’ call. Let’s check the Booth Cam to see what happened.
Instead of making the ‘It’s good’ call, Eli started his “They rushed the field” letter to the Conference office!
It was absolute chaos on the field. But if you want to see the life flash before someone’s eyes, LET’S GO TO THE FAMILY OF KICKER SETH SMALL
Texas A&M kicker Seth Small's family watching him kick a last second field goal to beat Alabama is some amazing content pic.twitter.com/Ic6DYZQFWG— Wu-Tang Is For The Children (@WUTangKids) October 11, 2021
I really pray that if he missed it (which off his foot I thought it might be) that the person who had the camera on them would not have posted that video because that was a mom that couldn’t feel her kneecaps when she jumped over that wall. Also, she wasn’t rushing the field because everyone else was, she was going over that wall no matter if Saban’s armed guard took her down.
Speaking of that armed guard, they did their job on the field Saturday night for sure.
HEAD ON A SWIVEL SWEETHEART!
This means that georgia is the number 1 team now and that’s just not fun, but hey, alabama lost for the first time since we did it back in 2019 so huzzah to that. It also means this…
So after Alabama’s loss here is the Sickos transitive loss pathway. And Alabama has a transitive loss to DUQUESNE!!— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) October 10, 2021
Duquesne > Ohio > Akron > Bowling Green > Minnesota > Oregon State > Hawaii > Fresno St > UCLA > LSU > Miss. State > Texas A&M > Alabama pic.twitter.com/G88BOGTNUA
YEEEESSS HAHAHAHA YEEEESSSSSS!
BLOWING HUGE LEADS AT YOUR OWN STATE FAIR JUST MEANS MORE
This game literally had everything you would want in an insane rivalry game. One takes a huge lead, beginning on the first play.
TO THE HOUSE ! TD LONGHORNS !!!— TBP College Football (@thebluepennant) October 9, 2021
Le freshman WR Xavier Worthy sur un fabuleux catch-and-run de 75 yards ! Wow !
Oklahoma 0, Texas 7pic.twitter.com/8W10xEt7gg
AND NOT LETTING OFF THE GAS!
Meanwhile Spencer Rattler was completely ineffective for a quarter. Prompting some to ask for the backup to come in.
WE WANT CALEB— Burnt Orange Nation (@BON_SBNation) October 9, 2021
Not quite sure why you would ask for the backup when you have corralled the starter but hey, to each their own. So how was the backup you ask?
Oklahoma-Texas gives us pure chaos every single year pic.twitter.com/AmYpBqAyO2— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) October 9, 2021
Yeah, that then prompted some to change their mind.
But Texas would still do insane things with Bijan Robinson.
Can’t stop thinking about the fact that Bijan Robinson ran another 40 yards after this pic.twitter.com/xTcXm3mtnZ— David Gardner (@byDavidGardner) October 9, 2021
Lord that is breath taking.
Oklahoma would pull even near the end and would get into position to kick the game winning field go…
Red River Rivalry somehow outdid itself today. Has to be best Oklahoma vs Texas game of my lifetime. pic.twitter.com/CV6QBkrong— George Balekji (@GeorgeBalekji) October 9, 2021
Or Texas could just not tackle and let them win it out right, sure.
I can think of anything to prepare you for this so I am just going to post it.
WARNING: FOR PERVERTS ONLY pic.twitter.com/8WF8eEJaaC— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) October 9, 2021
It’s a freaking EKG! Texas gonna Texas folks, that’s the moral of this story. The one thing I can think of is that at least Florida and georgia finally have some competition for Neutral Site Game of the Year in the Conference in a few years.
Imagine your day as a Longhorn fan. You wake up to watch a three hour love fest over your team in the biggest game of the year. That’s followed up by about 2ish hours of you curb stomping your biggest rival with your brand new coach and the best running back in college football. Then, at the flip of a switch, your biggest rivals back up QB comes in and drags his team back from the dead to beat you with :03 seconds left. Well that sucks, but at least you can watch Alabama do terrible things to Texas A&M...
That’s all I have the energy for after this weekend. So, what did I over look? UMass getting a win over UConn in the Sadness Bowl? North Carolina SOME FREAKING HOW losing to FSU? Get a pour of your second favorite bourbon (because the good stuff is for the wins) and hit me up in the comments below and we will continue to laugh together to hide out tears.