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JUST RELEASED: 2020 Momma Goldberg’s All-American Team

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HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL: JAN 20 Spalding Hoophall Classic Photo by John Jones/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

As long as recruiting services have been around, rumors of Auburn commits and signees being downgraded have existed. Even just this week, Tank Bigsby got dropped 25 spots by Rivals despite having not played a down of football between now and their last set of rankings.

It seems to have carried over to basketball now. Although Auburn hasn’t exactly been pulling in the top talent in the country over the last few decades, a few top players have come to the Plains, especially in the last few years. Before Sharife Cooper was announced as a McDonald’s All-American this week, the only other player to be given the honor before coming to Auburn in the last 30 years was Korvotney Barber in 2005.

Bruce Pearl had something to say about it today.

Even McDonald’s hates Auburn.

Look no further than the quality of the closest McDonald’s to campus for proof.

With the obvious bias towards Auburn, I’ve decided I can’t sit back and watch anymore. I need to do something! As a wise robot once said, “I’ll build my own lunar landing All-American list! With blackjack rolled trees! And hookers chicken fingers!”

2020 Momma Goldberg’s All-American Team

Sharife Coooper - 6’0”; McEachern HS/Marietta, GA

You can be on more than one list. Sharife Cooper is the highest rated recruit Auburn has ever signed. For now, at least.

Isaac Okoro - 6’5”; Auburn University/Powder Springs, GA

It’s funny how a guy getting top 10 buzz in the NBA Draft got snubbed last year. Sorry Isaac, but you’re definitely an All-American for us.

Charles Barkley - 6’6”; Inside the NBA/Leeds, AL

The years may not have been kind to the Round Mound of Rebound’s knees, but he’s still one of the top 5 things about the sport of basketball today.

Madi Prewett - 5’5”; The Bachelor/Auburn, AL

You can lie and say you didn’t know Coach Prewett’s daughter is on The Bachelor. Just know she’s an early favorite to win Pilot Pete’s heart. Oh, and she wasn’t a half bad basketball player in her high school days.

Aubie - Anywhere from 5’6” to 6”6; Auburn University/Auburn, AL

Snubbed out of a national championship again. He’s won 9 titles so far, though. Aubie is a dynasty.

Momma’s Love - 0’4”; Momma Goldberg’s/Auburn, AL

It may not be the best sandwich you’ve ever had, but a Momma’s Love after a game ALWAYS hits right.

Charles Barkley’s Statue - 20’0”; Auburn Arena/Auburn, AL

We already established Barkley’s great. Now imagine him 20 feet tall and made of bronze.

A Bag of Golden Flake Chips - 1’0”; Tommy Tuberville’s Hands/Birmingham, AL

Son of Crow - 6’0”; College & Magnolia/Longview, TX

I mean...

The Cornhole Boards my Sister Made Me - 1’6”; My Garage/Opelika, AL

Merry Christmas to me!