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Four Smoldering Questions For Auburn Football Before Fall Camp

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While the lame-stream media is busy asking the “burning” questions, College and Mag is digging for answers to the more obscure questions facing Auburn football. Last week: Three Bone-Chilling Questions.

NCAA Football: Mississippi State at Auburn John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

No, these questions are not burning. They used to be burning. Now they’re just smoldering. We never got the answers to fully put them out for good. So we have to keep asking or this

could turn to this.

(By the way, how does that tweet still exist? You mean Tony could find the block button but not the delete button? Now that’s a burning question.)

Are we sure Nick Marshall wasn’t arrested?

We all know Nick Marshall was cited for marijuana possession mere days before he was supposed to represent Auburn at the 2014 SEC Media Days. Well, all except for Mark Schlabach.

Now, let’s be honest. The difference between a citation and an arrest (“arrest” only in brackets, after all) is probably not that big a deal. So let’s not go calling Mark a “disgrace to journalism” over something like this.

Let’s just continue to insist our journalists “tell us the truuuuth.” What more can we ask for?

Who was booing Jay Jacobs at the airport after the Chizik hire?

Booooo! We want a winner, not a loser!

Booooooooo! Boo!

Give us Gill! Not Chizik!

Five and nineteen! Five and nineteen! [unintelligible]

I love Gardner! I’ll take Brady Hoke! Hell, Patrick Nix!

Any of’em! Any of them! God, give me Turner!

Any of’em! A-ny-of-them!

No Chizik!

No!

I’m pretty sure that’s Donald Trump.

What is Stewart Mandel’s criteria for the justifiable firing of a coach?

Stewart Mandel insists there’s an Auburn bug. There’s just something that makes Auburn fans unique in their desire to fire good coaches. I mean how else do you explain that the last three football coaches to be fired have been fired after undefeated seasons?

Starting 1-5, five years after going undefeated? Fired.

Finishing 5-7, four years after going undefeated? Fired or allowed to resign ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finishing 3-9, two years after going undefeated? Fired.

My guess is that Mandel expects coaches to be fired before they become successful. And rehire a successful coordinator to be head coach. In secret. On a private jet.

Now that’s how you treat a coach with respect.

Whatever happened to Brooks Melchior?

Is he on that island with Aubilicious? I hope Aubilicious is giving him what for.